CRIB

well, certainly not the MTV CRIBS though i really wish i have a home like those featured in that.

and also not the crib they use to put the babies in to make them sleep.

it's just a word i'm particularly interested after recently discovering the use of it. it's a hospital term which stands for 'Complete Rest In Bed'. somehow it's cute seeing the close similarity to its literal meaning. isn't it?

so, updating with my current life, after i received the great news the other day, a quite-not-so-good news followed. i got a call informing that my father was in an car accident. a head-on collision which results with two wrecked cars, causing a few casualties. as there was a death involved, thankfully my dad is among those who survived. and as of now, he's still hospitalized for the injuries are yet to heal. thus, my discovery of the above mentioned term.

hopefully, his recovery will progress smoothly. thanks for a lot of people who gives their concern.

so, i just have to continue on with my life which means i have to be more serious towards studying? oh,how i've been slacking off a whole lot recently, and without me realizing it, it's gonna be the final exam so soon. and now, i DO worry. unlike before where it's others who did the worrying for me.

but as my senior advised, "don't be panic"

okay, after all, to be calm is important in such circumstance. breathe in....breath out............
i need more flumpool input.



-3 months to go-

alhamdulillah

certainly, i'm in a very good mood at the moment compared to the other times i always wrote down any entry here

happy to not even care whether the sentence i structured makes sense or not

just today, i got a lot of stimuli that affect how am i feeling now

like how i discovered, someone from my old school, the same grade as me is actually getting married so soon!!

that really caught me unguarded

or after a long while i haven't so into korean drama, today i got stuck at one and can't help laughing

and laugh, and laugh

or finished yet another book i've been looking forward for quite some time, terry pratchett never fails to make such stories that will make me hooked and amazed. and even better i love that touch he did at the ending of  'I Shall Wear Midnight'. that was simple yet sooo sweet, and it's not even a love story but it just perfectly ends well. yosh, i could embark on the next book now. call it seasonal or whatever, i'm simply enjoying it!

but, what tops the list for the day definitely the one that put me is sooo much relief after a long while of anxiousness and anticipation. i got accepted!!!!! just received the acceptance letter in my hand in the afternoon, and never thought the documents included would be that much, well, that's what i gotta do from now on.

i gotta thank a lot of people for this.

i wonder if getting this kind of news can make someone so happy, how about all the other things that are much more than this? no wonder they can coin the word 'on cloud nine' which i used to think senseless at one time. what a good thing to be happy, i wish everyone can be happy too!! it fills your heart with delight you can't help but to beam a smile so sincere without ever having to strain it or feign it in any way. cheers!

on edge

 a short account of what happened during the weekend (or what i thought at the beginning, but it still ended up quite long)

Saturday. the day before JLPT. i believe if not all, almost everybody in JAD was bound at TBP for the sake of studying for the test. so, when i stepped into Sunway Pyramid, there was no familiar face at all, usually it's very rare not to find someone there. somehow, it feels weird. i was out there for ice-skating, something i planned earlier that week. it sure is unhealthy for me to continue being at TBP for so many weekends, so i gotta be somewhere else doing things i enjoy no matter what. rejected by any fellow JAD, i ended up going with my sister and one of the TA's who bothered to wake up in early morning. well, ice-skating sure is difficult though but it feels exciting when you achieve to at least skate. u're only depending on two thin blades under your feet! nevertheless, i could only get as far as moving at a speed no greater than a turtle unlike my companions who joyfully slide through the throng of people, sometimes leaving me helpless. at times, i do feel sorry for Endo-san who would follow with my pace closely behind. it sure made me glad as if i'm being protected. mission accomplished for the day! not without falling down for numerous times. next time i'll practice more until i can do it effortlessly :)

Sunday. JLPT-KinoKuniya-Rapunzel

somehow it made me feel relieved that i actually went out playing the previous day. it'll be of no use were i to be stuck in my room, my nose under those books. that was just way too difficult. even for me (hahaha, this sounds like i'm damn good) i could care less what the result would be. it won't even affect our university entrance or whatever. so, that was it. the next thing i realized was i was on a date with Fatin. :D i've always wanted to watch Rapunzel so i've made a reservation for it. it was only the two of us, everyone else seem like to have their own plans. thankfully the test venue was near enough to the lrt station, getting to klcc was a cinch. so, while waiting for the showtime, i went to my favourite place-as expected. and what a delight to see so much interesting books ON SALE. i'm a girl in essence and can't help but to be so much excited when discounts are concerned. I, who usually prefers paperbacks(they're cheaper and smaller) actually bought 2 hardcovers today and due to the temptations i can hardly resist, ended up buying 4 books altogether. 

 my cameraphone sucks so it's not that visible but what i got today was 'I Shall Wear Midnight' by Terry Pratchett, 'Mini Shopaholic' by Sophie Kinsella, 'My Mother She Killed Me, My Father He Ate Me' by various authors and 'Noah Barleywater Runs Away' by John Boyne. initially i thought of attempting another Isaka Kotaro's work when i heard the latest one is on sale, but it costs way too much over my budget! and it's also not that thin. aaa, just when will i be able to read those novel without much trouble? hopefully it'll be soon.

and Rapunzel sure is awesome!! Maximus is my favourite horse in all the stories i've watched so far.
so, next i'll be looking forward to Narnia! fantasy livens up our lives, isn't it??

just want to express my gratitude for the above things which will be very beneficial to me indeed^^

ありふれてる言葉だけど

心からありがとう！


いろいろの人にそう言いたい。

だって、私は今まで生きていて、今の自分のようになっても、彼らのおかげだから。

ありがとうな

家族とか、この言葉は正直に言いにくいけどね。

後何十年もこの言葉が言い切れないでしょう。

じゃあ、これからもよろしく！(^ _ ^)/

ろうそくはもうフォークになった（’-’*) 

二十歳になった私は今本当に大人になったのかな。。。悩みなどがいっぱいあるけどそれは人生というものだからね

あと十年の私はどんな人になるだろう、どのぐらい変わるかな。あの時、今を持っている夢がどうなるか待ち遠しね　（*＾＾*)


p/s: i made a lil experiment and i don't know how far it proves my hypothesis to be true but social websites do make people rely too much on its existence. i'm relieved there are still people who apparently make the effort to  remember their friend's birthday, i'm touched~

and oh yeah, i got quite the first present today-a full version PV of flumpool's latest song「Snowy Nights Serenade～心までも繋ぎたい～ Xmas ver.」! aaah, i'm really a sucker for ballads, this song sticks right away, what more Ryuuta's voice just bind a spell on me the moment it reaches my eardrum. really wish i could see him face to face and listening to them performing live. that gotta be the best birthday present ever! /edited on dec 1st

let me do this in 10 minutes

yes, it's hectic times like this that i suddenly want to post an entry while having one whole report left undone.

but here i go, i went off wiki-ing some trivial stuff. (funny how wiki-ing sounds so acceptable as googling does)

there, i lost 2 minutes.

so, what i browsed about was Daruma Dolls. actually, i've been asking some people who are coming back from japan to get me this as omiyage. and of course, they just didn't find it and i got something else.

i mean, isn't this unique stuff is visible everywhere when i watch their dorama or whatever. is it so difficult to be found?

i found it really interesting to how they use the doll. to people who doesn't know, originally the eyes are blank and when one makes a wish, they colour one eye, and only after the wish is fulfilled the other is coloured. omoshiroi. somehow, it can be a reminder you still have to push more effort in pursuing what you desire.

so, back to why it's hard to find, i discover that 80% of the doll production is at Takasaki (Gunma Prefecture, north of Tokyo) source<---check this out! no wonder they couldn't find it easily, the people i asked it from lived so far from the said place.

okay, i got only a minute left.

so, eventually i passed the time limit i set for this by 8 minutes, it's because i thought of putting a screenshot of a dorama where i saw the most amazing form the daruma has taken, but i just couldn't remember of which episode it's featured in.

instead, i found this when i googled. look at those mini tiny ones below them all.

so, later folks!

nearing defeat

this might be recurring every so often, and i despise myself each time it happens

i can't focus on what i really should do.

instead i'll be distracted to plenty other stuff of no beneficial. including what i'm exactly doing here-writing a blog.

it's frustrating.

hopefully, my report will be able to be completed fully and without much fuss while there's only barely a day left, to include there's also the presentation slides to be done.

ok, enough of that.

mou, ganbaru shika nai

this is what i should stick in mind

btw,some time ago, i finally get my japan map in my own room (*^-^*)



and lastly, let's see in a few days who is it that actually remembers or makes the effort to remember............

海+月=?

海月

it's read as くらげ (kurage)

well, the kanji, one by one brings the meaning of 'sea' and 'moon'

combined, it means jellyfish.

a creature that majorly consist of water and little of everything else. fleeting through the waters like nothing else matters.

it reminds me of our visit to JIMAH power plant, where i got a glimpse of the above mentioned creature but quite different to my usual image of it. never did i know there would be one of this size. i did only watch from above when it fleeted near the surface of the water but i guess the full picture must be something like this.

it's still jellyfish, yes. 

ok, i prefer to be near to the ones in the first picture, or more accurately i'd love to simply watch them, though people might say i better do many other things than that. but, animals just soothe you in a way you can hardly comprehend why. they just do. that's what great about God's creations. All praises to Him, Subhanallah~

and the reason why my interest perked up to this creature out of a sudden is because of the following.

yes, i'm absorbed in drama yet again. this time it's Nagareboshi (among other dramas i'm engrossed at the moment). a bittersweet love story enough to keep my interest aroused and maintained. at times painful, at times funny. and call me a girl because i really am one, i can't escape from being mesmerized.

like here's what i call marvel of God's creations. XD somehow he constantly reminds me of someone so close though. guess who? hehehe

grumbles

if i were to blurt out the following orally to my friends, i'm sure i'll be bashed or just plainly ignored. now, i'm grateful for the presence of what we call blog. it's regarding the JLPT. today, we did the last year's paper, and frankly, i'll say, that's just WAY TOO DIFFICULT. for the current me, at least. okay, that's what i wanna say about the matter. now, i can barely see any light of hope of me passing at this rate, and the new format N1 model paper does not seem easier.

and what i answered to the interviewer for the university entrance : the subject i like/good at -> nihongo

well, i'm not lying. i do enjoy all the thing i'm able to do following to learning it.

i could understand the dramas!! well, though not fully. but it sure leads to the addict i'm having at the moment.

and understanding those lovely lyrics from songs i love to listen. but still, i'm amazed to Ryuuta's style, the more reason i'm so desperate to be better in nihongo. Flumpool, just wait to the day i could watch you perform live...

Okada Masaki made me watch a drama about tax - a topic never occur to me. He's such a hottie~

and actually, i intended of doing my report tonight....

p/s: i need to grab a book now. ah~ how much i want 'I Shall Wear Midnight' at the moment.

what i had on Saturday

since early morning, it's a  day filled with entrance interviews & written exam, never lacks of its own nervousness, yet still amused to find one of the persons in charge as a very nice eye candy XD

hopes everything goes all right, not just for me, for the rest of us too.

but the fact is we're still far from being able to be relieved even after we would get the result for university entrance, we still have a few months to finish the current semester. with its own mind-boggling subjects to overcome.

and today, i had my regular dose of drama. you should never stop practicing, right? next week(precisely tomorrow), we gonna have a mock exam for jlpt. it seems to be last year paper. quite strange, now the one we gonna actually sit this year would be of revised new format though. but i guess the contents are still relevant, so why bother?

later, i searched around to expand my drama inventory. and sure, i did find some. there'll be day where i'll do dramarathon very soon.

and a burger for dinner.

a nap after a long day. emphasis: a NAP. coz it's only an hour. before i woke up to be startled for it was already 11 p.m.

and we already bought ticket for Harry Potter which showtime is 11:30. nevertheless, we made it in time, skipping the intro.

-thought of writing down about the movie, but the words just don't seem to flow out-

though not really what i would deem a marvelous one, it's quite a nice watch. and i haven't seen any movie lately. well, it does make me look forward for the latter part of this 7th installation of the movie series. it would be when i'll be scheduled to be in nihon already. should i make an effort of watching previous ones that i missed?

i guess i'll still succumb to the habit of reading any subtitle available, even if it would be japanese.

i should learn listening properly. sorry for never being a good listener. i'm just not inclined to be so.

whatever crap i'm starting to write here, it's nearly 3 in the morning and my eyes is still wide open while my brain is showing signs of needing rest.



for today, i hope it'll be a sunny day. it's sunday after all. and whatever will be coming today, i'm wishing so that  it'll be a happy one, something that could make me enjoy my day at least.

so, everyone, enjoy your day!

courage undetected

Meiji University Interview　⇒ Saturday, Nov 20th  8:00 a.m
Saitama University Written Exam　⇒ same day, 9:00 a.m
Saitama University Interview　⇒ same day, between 1:00~4:00 p.m


mental preparation : still undetected (plausible radar damage)



Electrical Experiment report due --> tomorrow 5 p.m
progress : 66%




may everything goes all right, amin~

やる気、上がれ！！

yosh, it's now the battle for the interview, yet while the person beside me is preparing for that sake, i'm still sticked here... like izaan said, there's one week more, no worry :P

so here, i'd like to share a quote i found somewhere, it's originally from a book which title i no longer could recall correctly.


You don’t quit practicing because you suck, you suck because you quit practicing. 


You don’t play because you’re good. You’re good because you play. 


You don’t run because you’re good at running, you’re good at running because you run.

somehow, recently it occurs upon me that actually all the bitter feelings/experiences/recollections i gathered so far were actually a valuable treasure. though many people prefer to eradicate those unpleasant things, it's because of the very existence of those that we mature and learn how to appreciate.

coz, i can never be good when i never do it, right? let alone be marvellous like how i perfectly won't mind being one.

so, from now on, no fear! (while inside i still shudder)

ya Allah, please assist me in all of what i do, grant me wisdom, grant me perseverance. i need nothing more than your blessings throughout my life. keep me safe and sound, and so my family and my dearest ones. keep our hearts clean from any evil, forever devoted only to you.

there's a lot to wish for

if you get only a wish that'll be granted, what will you wish for?

that is one difficult question.....



i do have a lot that i want at the moment.

but first, we'd like to have problems to be cleared off our heads, right? perfectly, there's constantly a thing that is fleeting in my mind regarding what i believe is troubling me.

please, spare me of it.

sometimes i just want to whisk it off and make myself think that it's only me who creates the problem in my own head. the more i think about it, the more it is making a mess inside me. and naturally, it's not a thing you can easily put into words. yes, it's indescribable. but for sure, it's agitating.

perhaps i'm too much influenced with all the dramas i'm addicted with, my sense of logic might be far-fetched from what we call reality, the realm in which we're living in for real. and i'm overestimating things. for example, for a thing that supposed to be sufficient to make someone happy, still i'm expecting more and something just feels incomplete, in result i'm not that happy.

should i blame myself for being too much engrossed in dramas that it affects my thinking?

and what ceaselessly troubles me is when it comes about interpersonal stuff. easily said, i'm just clueless about the whole thing regarding it.

first thing, we have to consider others, and read their signals so as to make appropriate actions (for what purpose i'm still puzzled- is it not make them in unease or for solely not making a fool of own self?). but then i fear i misread those. i easily think the other party is not interested, so i should just shy away. in the end, it's me who feel lonely (somehow this word sounds too clichéd). however, there are times when i think if i can be this troubled, there must be others too having the same conflict (is there?). so if i change my position in the previously said situation, it might be me who makes others think the same thing as above. due to my inept self who hardly knows how to deal with people, i might unknowingly giving such unintended signals making them shy away instead. and the exact same result ensues, yes, that clichéd word.

honestly, i'm not a good talker. nor can i read the atmosphere. let alone people's mind. strangers, acquaintances, they might just be the same to me, i'm clueless about them.

and as day passes, when so much thoughts has piled up, the whole thing just feels so complicated. it feels like you are so lost when you discover so much stuff beyond your comprehension which you were so oblivious to before you didn't even know such things even existed.

it asphyxiates you.

more reading list

here's what i hope i get to read/have in my possession before the year ends.just why they have to be so damn expensive at the moment?? anyone? *wink**wink*

and now i've gotten to the last part of 'children' by isaka kotaro. once i finish with that, i'll go compare it to the tv adaptation. the character 'jinnai' can't fail from amusing me.

and the other day, i got myself this cute little things i'd love to adorn my scarf, well their purpose is generally not only limited there, but i'll think of that later.

anyone interested? *begins daydreaming of getting more pocket money*

sleepyhead

i don't know why, but since the new sem started, i felt as if i've turned so much older, i mean by stamina. i easily feel tired and there must be a day in a week (excluding the weekends) where i can't escape from stay tied on the bed for almost 12 hours. and it's weekdays we're talking about here.

and that still doesn't cut short the amount of sleep i never intended to have during class.

at times like these, people will say, you lack exercise!

and i cringe at the whole truthfulness of it...

but what bothers me more than the above is how i can easily be in a dream. or what i thought is a dream. perhaps it's only my mind flying off somewhere else especially when this occurs in the middle of a class, but what i'm sure is, it's tiring! the purpose of getting sleep is to get rest, yet what you get after sleep is getting even more tired.

and even more frustrating is i can't recall what the dream was about. perhaps, some of the fragments are still left in the memories but it only last for seconds the moment you wake up, and suddenly it vanishes into thin air. at lucky times, i could remember one or two characters in the dream though.

and recently i just noticed how the book i'm currently read affects the dream i have. the other day when i read a short story about vomiting, i had this dream in which i feel so nauseous and somehow it linked to how i actually vomited all what i ate the previous night. stupid, right? but that really made me fell unwell for a few days. and i just finished reading a novel about indian society, and i dreamed something very related to it. i told ya, i can't remember my dream, but only the feelings linger which i can't easily grasp or properly translate into words.

talking about books, lately i'm so hooked to them, perhaps it's a seasonal thing, but it still puts me in such delight for the fact i actually finished 3 novel in only a few weeks just recently. they indeed had jumped in the queue as i'm still in the middle of reading 'children' currently. yosh, i'll finish that too soon! and when i feel like it, perhaps i'll review that a bit. well, i'm eager to finish it coz i'm looking forward to read another book (or more exciting, buy it for myself) which i had once leafed through a few pages of it some time ago in the bookstore-a novel told from the eyes of a cat. it's a classic work i guess and reading it in its original language is ever more tempting...



this reminds me when we were having our SPM exam week where others were cooping themselves with textbooks and kept leafing through their notes, i jauntily read a few novels i divulged from my buddies' room which i found just to my liking.yes, this only means i'm actually in a period where apparently we're very busy....

p/s: only about 2 weeks b4 the interview for the universities, zenbu umaku ikimasu you ni~

confidence zero

well, at least that's what i think of my current state

sometimes i put the blame on experience coz for the very existence of it, we are afraid of things we probably should not, like how it could made us recall of unpleasant memories relating to it.

and i hate that feeling when you want it but left hesitating to take the next step.

but, like people say, experience's the best teacher.

maa ne..

in less than a month or more precisely in only 3 weeks, i'll be facing an interview that's determine my next stage of life. ok, i make it sounds like everything is on stake here, but really somehow it indeed is.

and i'm nowhere near prepared.

from my experience, interview's are not my best moment. but still, on that precarious moment, i am judged. so convenient! hahahaha, i'm purely laughing over myself here.

and from my experience, i can see the old pattern is going on a rerun. yeah, i'm addicted to watching drama again, as expected. searching for the root of the problem, it's not exactly my uncontrolled obsession, it's more of a repulsion towards my true obligation-school. oh yeah, i'm fully informed that people would say school is so delightful, a memory they would cherish forever, but see, it's only valuable when it has become memories. so, should i say keep on striving for the sake i could look back at this memories and smile?

another random stuff but never fail to keep lingering on the space of my mind : i need class on interpersonal skill. oh please, i can't live without other people but then i have no idea how to deal with them or even how to deal with myself. tch.


zenbu umaku ikimasu you ni.

and lastly, more random thing. i'm nearing the end of the second decade of my life, and i just feel like making a wishlist.
-a new watch - the one that has served me for more than 2 years just got broken
-a new wallet
-a drinking bottle -and someone promised to get me one for my birthday :D
-dove chocolates
-getting into the university of my choice
-a proper set of stationeries
-watching flumpool and weaver's concert
-a new version denshijisho
-travelling to US

+some others remain untyped

how should i organize?

ok, currently there's quite a few things running at my mind that are only waiting to be flowing out through the tips of my fingers. i don't know where should i start or where should i end. this is something that occurs so often i guess that explains why i rarely get to have any entry done. a muchakucha entry would be useless, won't it?

ok, we start with stuff related to words and books.

after finished with 'ahiru to kamo no coin locker' the other day, i embarked on my second challenge with isaka kotaro's work. this time it's a compilation of short stories-Children. nevertheless, when i've gone a part through it, i discover those stories are somehow related to each other. and for this book, i just found how i really enjoy reading his narration, possibly owing to the first person view that he adopts which enables the reader feels like actually participating in the story. and while still unfinished, i got attracted to another novel. this time, it's haruki murakami-the translated one. well, quite a famous name but i haven't got the chance to read his yet-aside from reading a few pages from bookstore some time before. so, when mph made a promotion of 20% off on any book for this weekend, i got myself one-The Wind-up Bird Chronicle. not surprisingly, it's the same 1st person view. perhaps most japanese authors just love this style. not for me to comment coz i've only read a few works from them. back to the novel i just bought, based on the first few pages, it proves to be interesting. this would make my desire to get his original work-as always with the excuse of improving my nihongo-grows stronger. only wish my financial state will grow as strong though.

there adds another book waiting to be read.

and actually, recently i was itching to write about how i can be so disturbed with language error-be it spelling or grammar. it's the same for english or bahasa melayu. i mean, it is understandable if it sometimes inevitably occurs due to carelessness, but then if it does happen so often in a text, it almost seems that the person who wrote it just doesn't care. i mean, supposedly they have learned for nearly a lifetime and you still don't get the sense of the correct conduct of the language? don't you feel it's quite impolite to the readers who are giving their attention. indeed, i might not be in my place to say anything coz i can't escape making errors too, but i do give my effort into reviewing what i already wrote and check for any error. that way, i can curb them down as many as i could in the future by studying the pattern where i do have mistake the most.

and also i hate it when i want to recall a word and it just would not resurface. i've been stuck with this one particular word describing what i feel like the above. urgh, just what's that word?

btw, the btn we went through during the past week was ok. i did learn something, or more correctly my opinion from before is strengthened. i couldn't say much coz "we are not to reach a conclusion before we manage to grasp the situation from every angles and aspects available". in short, for what i know at the moment is certainly not sufficient enough to allow me to have my say. it won't be fair for any persons/entities involved as i could easily overlook them. for what is true and what is wrong and what i want to believe in requires my effort to understand them in full depth. any people in the world are capable of manipulating others for their own interest, so for not being a victim, no matter how much hassle it cost us, 'to think' is indispensable. so, when i am still and silent, it's not that i do not care like a sloth, it's solely because i haven't yet gotten past the 'thinking' stage.

but then, thinking is so mendoukusai, ne?

well, that is more the case when you got more enjoyable thing to get your mind so engrossed. i can't deny the fact i've passed a bit the gate of obsession when it comes to my favourite music. as the name suggests, entertainment does entertain!

and so finally, tomorrow school starts. yosh, another one semester left to be endured!!

the angst comes like a storm

plausibly the reason why i barely got to post any entry lately

it's not good to perpetuate such a bad feeling down in writing, right? as the Nac Mac Feegles in my favourite Tiffany Aching series assert, writing lasts for eternity, so its scary. or more accurately, i can't quite put what exactly my feeling is at the moment. they are ceaselessly in turbulence.

at times, i could feel like crying for no relevant reason, but at times i could be extra excited. mood swing?

so, better if i wait until everything calms down and i can think clearly so as to avoid any misunderstanding or whatever mistake i might slip.

so, is this what people call 'teenage angst'? well, i'm still in my teens for a few more months.

Flumpool and Weaver really do serve as a very delightful placebo nevertheless.



i wish i could overcome whatever worry that are haunting my relatively big head. it is just so extremely unsettling. when i thought i should go to the root of the problem, i don't even know what the problem is. am i just having anxiety unnecessarily? or do i actually yearn for somebody to just understand? poor thing i never know how to reach out. even if i send out the SOS signal, i know not what to response when help actually comes. what a troublesome self. urgh, it feels pathetic to realize how pathetic myself is.

breathe in....... breathe out............................ breathe in....... breathe out............................

may i gain inner peace for eternity, amin~

that was a nice one

Hari Raya was.... ok

well, i discovered my dad's photography tools have indeed increased where practically now we can have our own mini studio anywhere.

i'm not exaggerating.

which also means a good thing, coz i yet to take pictures asked by sensei. nevertheless, school won't start until the next 4 days. there's still time, hehehe

so, unlike what i expected, this time my dad didn't take many days off for Raya so by last Monday we were already back home. so, what my bro and i planned was to go raya by ourselves down to Johor. 3 houses cleared!

meeting relatives is a good thing once in a while. it goes without saying though. and another good thing was our journey didn't take that long, thank goodness there wasn't any heavy traffic jam. might be faster if it was my dad's Honda Accord but that's out of question. one more good thing is, travelling in a car without your parents means you can have music of your own choice. as loud as you want.

i'm so glad i didn't forget to bring my Flumpool cd on board! now, that is really money not wasted. i could play it multiple times along the journey. oh, Ryuuta, your voice is really delightful to the ears along with such great music you guys play. kimochi ha todoiteruyo!! and what a nice feeling when you get to brag about artist you love so much to someone new. and he didn't complain which means he do not hate it. yeay!

now, i'm waiting for my copy of Weaver's cd, then i can play it while cruising on the car. i bet he won't say no to this one. their music is just fabulous! even if none of what is said can be understood, music still is enjoyable for anyone, right. but i gotta say, weaver's lyrics are really nice and for someone proficient in nihongo, theirs are pretty easy to catch, and there, you'll be dazed. Kawabe(the lyric writer in Weaver), i really respect you for this. aaa, even now, i'm playing 'Kanseitou' on repeat.


and i ate too much... i'm worried for the medical check up tomorrow. going to Danga Bay again was indeed fun. never though i would ride on that bicycle again, and this altogether with a total of 6 adults!

random

it's still dark out there, i'm writing this on half past 6 in the morning

yesterday, instead of getting my shower in the bathroom, i took mine under the rain

am so excited to get past half of the book i'm reading now. Has-sensei, owari made ganbarimasuyo!

my Weaver fever just ran up so high after discovering a fan community for them
oooh, kawabe, i really want to see you doing live performance in front of my eyes

and making a new friend who's solely responsible for making me so drunk on Weaver

am so so excited to wait for my copy of their album!! aah, the PV of 'Kanseitou' is ever making me more impatient~

and a current update on kazuki's translated blog really made up my morning!

i dunno know for how many times i keep playing Kimi no Todoke video, oh ryuuta, you really make me melt

i just started rereading Maou Juvenile Remix manga. quite surprised to see how fast i can read it now compared to when i bought those nearly half a year ago, yes, go iman!

currently trying to list up the goi that's apparently going to be beneficial for us who's taking JLPT lvl 1 (it's called N1 now?) thanks for those who's cooperating, i appreciate it! and i'm still open for those who's want to offer their help in this too

kinda regret for leaving flumpool fourbond at shah alam. otherwise, i could flail while reading it. haven't read the latter half yet.

just so pissed off with the internet at this house. is what my dad says true that in very near future we're using fibre optic? he says it's the yellow line i can see on the telekom wireline by the road. i want to believe it but i dunno.... please spare me from this so-infuriating-internet speed.

and wimax does not really alleviate my irritation as it only have fast speed for a few days every month before reverting back to its usual snail-pace

which explains why till now i haven't watched Hotaru no Hikari episode 9

oh Buchouu, i miss you~~~~~

facebook recently is getting annoying, what's with all the hype regarding it? and how more people are just tagging hari raya cards instead of personally sending it. even sms are better, at least there's still that personal feeling as in "to ....."

but then, facebook is my second most frequented website.

and i actually found empty hari raya cards while doing spring cleaning the other day. but then i don't know where my mom put those. zannen~

and really happy to receive one all the way from nihon. thanks a lot Aqilah-senpai!! it's beside this notebook now.

am relieved my dad doesn't seem yet to get obsessed of making ketupat for this Raya. or else i have to weave them like usual. well, i don't care if i only have to do 5 of them but when it comes to 50, iya da!!

i dunno why but the Raya mode just hasn't yet dawned on me. oh, is it tomorrow? i'm screwed, haven't packed my bag yet. thankfully we're only going back to johor until sunday.

my brother is bugging (is this the right word in this case?) me as for what we would do next one week we got free coz my dad's working. i just hope my mom won't be in the way of us enjoying this duration as we like.

on this 18th, it's open house at Farah's house, really looking forward to this, please let me go!

and so much of my friends are already leaving Malaysia. it's okay iman, only half a year left......

and oh yeah, after that, definitely i'll go watch Flumpool and Weaver!!! if only they know how they got such a huge fan out here always waiting for the day to watch them live or even to get to know them personally. they're amazing people (at least, in my eyes), that's why. also among the reasons i'm so eager learning nihongo every single day and why i thrived through everyday though engineering in japanese is just so damn tough (sorry, is that foul word?)

when i finish writing this, it's still quite dark outside. when i edited it, it's already (gosh, i forgot what's the antonym for dark!) ok, numerically, it's already 7.

spring cleaning

is what i'm expected to do this holiday.

and as anyone knows, i'm such a person who just don't bother much with cleaning though i don't appreciate my place to be dirty, but i don't see much points in getting myself tired from arranging stuff and so on, in short to be so damn neat. people might say it's all cluttered but as long as i know where my stuffs are, that's enough. urm, can't deny i always forget where i put my belongings-forgetful me.

well, the point here is, the raya holiday has started!!

and it's 2-weeks (yeaaa, for JAD students, u perfectly know why this is such a heavenly thing). and because my dad does not take so much extra days off for this raya, i actually got about a week with nothing to do (but unfortunately only my dad is working for next week which left me and my mom at home, and ammar in this case).

so, what i already has in my head is the following:

-of coz, raya is a time to eat delicious stuffs
-visiting friends' houses that are nearby-i could ask for someone's help in this
-finishing the novel i borrowed from has-sensei (already halfway now :D)
-typing down the kotoba for 1kyuu preparation and gathering as much help to get this project take off
-start working on the math exercises given by ueno-sensei for saitama daigaku written exam

-learn to cook a dish at least??

ok, i should not set my goals too much or it'll only be unaccomplished like how it often did before.


and, no matter how many times i watched flumpool's latest pv, ryuuta never fails to mesmerize me, aaahhh~

君に届けたい～～

the expression by this boy is priceless

different clocks

for me, the 5-day-off starts today~ well, not actually i can be fully relieved, they won't leave us without any homeworks and reports, and on top of that, after the holiday's over, i would have an exam for a subject i've yet to know exactly what it is about. okay, i'm working on that.

so, for the first day of this holiday, i originally intended to have iftar with my housemates somewhere out but due to some misunderstanding in my part, i eventually ended up following my parents to my grandma's place. thanks to the ride, i get more than enough sleep. at this moment, it's 12 midnight rite now and i'm awake in front of this comp.

but somehow, despite having adequate sleep during the day, i'm actually kinda sleepy. normally it's the high time now, with all the louds and noise at the utility room with my friends, sometimes playing games together. but here, it's a 180 degree change. everything's so quiet. everyone's already asleep. even the creaking sound of the fan is somewhat deafening. unlike all the young bloods i often mingle in, clearly old folks just have a different clock. perhaps this is just how they have their leisurely pace, early night and early morning and whatever come after.

calm and serene?

well, i might just imagine how i would spend my old days, relaxed and away from the hustle and bustle of the life i'm used to now.

yeah, let this environment give a push inside myself, a revitalization and a boost to give more effort into what i'm doing now. kakougaku, please be friendly to me from now on! and oh, the idea of having to learn thermodynamics in 2 weeks after eid holiday is a bit frightening, but i'll just do my best! let eveything go smoothly, amin~~

at a loss for word

every so often i'll be stuck in a situation where i could not find what to say when actually i would really love to have a chat with someone. alas, i'll have no clue and end up in taciturnity. indeed, people say silence is wisdom but it is through words that people can reach an understanding and deepen their bonds. words are powerful enough it can translate what actually is felt deep inside and deliver it straight to the others. it's because feelings and emotions are such intangible things, they need some medium to travel.

but then, when words are that powerful, it can turn out to be fearful and dangerous. be it orally or written. when uttered by the two lips, it can be intimidating as the accompanying tone could be scary, it can reverberate in the mind, like a haunting chant. however, words that are written down just last, leaving an unfading proof making it just as frightening.

even while knowing that, it's inevitable to just blurt out something we do not really mean. only to end up feeling so bad once realizing what a mistake the tongue has done. or even what the fingers has just thoughtlessly lined down. an array of words that might just hurt someone unknowingly.

or is that really the case?

only people so selfless would think that. perhaps what do we really care about is how others perceive us after making that blunder on words. would they look down on us? would they go away? did i just make myself a fool?


nevertheless, by saying nothing, would that not make that a mistake just the same?

if only God would grant me the grand art of weaving words the right way at the right time..... amin~

satiated

one of the things that ramadhan teaches you is gratitude.

somehow when you are so blessed with such a comfortable environment, all of the things that come along are taken for granted, thus we forget, and sought for more.

and more and more.

until you learn that what you actually need is nothing more but that little of something. and then you realize, by far you've deceived yourself for getting the surplus in order to satisfy yourself, oh what a waste when there's always somebody else who are deprived of all those and would be more than delighted to have it. when was the last time i feel satiated with food so simple and only a handful of it? (gosh, how gluttonous i was). and it does indeed make me happy.

Alhamdulillah~

and to look around, i can't deny the existence of all those things that would let me down every now and then, but there's also things that can paint up the smile on my face and also put my heart in felicity. to be glad to actually be alive. and it's all thanks to Him. He's the one giving life in each of us and the whole complete world we're living in. even when facing all those challenges, it's inevitable to be exhausted, but you can always know you're doing this for a reason and your final destination. nevertheless, for our heart is a delicate thing yet it's easy enough to be pleased by things of our fancy, He has scattered all those around very beautifully. you just can't escape the admiration and to be brimmed with sheer gratefulness.

Subhanallah~

thank you Allah, i'm happy and blissed~

p/s: the last 2 weeks of 'nihon keizai to keiei' class was so enjoyable and kept my heart leaping undoubtedly. i know i can make it through the other ordeals be it the 3 weeks of an apparently mind-boggling and mentally tormenting class, iman, ganbare!!

and retrospectively, JAD is not actually that bad after all, anyone agree? 

the price of patience

for how many longer could i hold this up inside....

ganbare!!

everyone, have a blessed ramadhan!

感動的！

it's a saturday. with a lot of stories.

the luncheon

truly happy we could gather and hang out with our dear buddy faseeha before she would so far away from us. and the day we spent together was simply memorable. the lunch which we took so much trouble just to find the right place, and the laughter shared in the process. somehow, we ended up somewhere totally contradicting to the initial condition of the search-affordable for plain students like us. we went italian.

so funny how we barged in like some sort of an awkward party acting haughty and yes naturally, to choose something from the menu took time. or how to eat some warm bread when it's served with vinegar and something-god-knows-what. well, the pasta was not all that bad, though some bad choice makes it go below our expectation a lil bit. nevertheless, the whole party of 6 managed to enjoy ourselves. really sorry to the other patrons of the restaurant did we bother them with our noise and sheer excitement.

pastas involved : spaghetti, linguine, angel hair
also pizzas and calzones

too bad it can make you feel full when not even half has finished

the last airbender

due to some blunders in my part, i mistook that my brother would come along too. good thing izmier was there to fill in the space (waste not my rm13 spent). so, excluding me, rifqi and him were to watch 2 movies today. if i were to review it all here, might me troublesome. so my overall impression would be, good effects and i could see how interesting the original story would be (i didn't watch the animation series). but somehow perhaps it's just difficult to cram it in a movie even for the very first part of it. it's just that my mood was not that aroused while watching it compared to the other movies i've watched recently. however it does makes you curious for the next part. but for this type of movie, maybe not as much as i anticipate the sequel for darren shan's vampire's assistant.

what goes around comes around!

this might some weird occurrence to me but it does leave a deep impression inside. it happened when we were walking our way back from the ktm station. we were totally in a rush before maghrib runs out of time. more than usual i took quicker and bigger steps. but then, i didn't know since when but someone was calling us from our behind.

"stop! stop! don't run! i'm no robber"

that caught me in a daze. and he goes on further with some super-rapid-pace explaining his whole situations till the moment he stumble across us on that road. i was just so perplexed to give any response especially when he said, "really sorry to ask you this this favour, but i'm really not trying to rob you, even if i do, hit me". still in bewildered state but i somehow pity him for being stuck in that desperateness so eventually i just handed the last 3 ringgit i have in my wallet. combined with izmier and rifqi's part, it did not even make up to the whole meager amount he needed but he looked rather pleased. then we instantly left him behind and took even bigger pace to catch it in time when something really unexpected totally caught me speechless. for the second time, someone called for us.

"free taxi, free taxi"

the remaining few hundred meters home were of ease that not even a couple of minutes passed before we arrived. and not even late for maghrib prayer, alhamdulillah~

....and my fandom

kenichi matsuyama to star in the adaptation of 'usagi drop'-one manga i love to read for its simplicity and cuteness. well, there's quite a story in it too. that very cute lil girl in it is the same girl from the drama 'Mother'-a drama worth watching for its story and suspense despite being a slow one

and watching buchou today really my day a level brighter. buchou~~~!!! hotaru is just so adorable while buchou is hot like always

fluffy cottony clouds

oh, how i love seeing clouds from the above. really, it can make you feel like to frolic on it, jumping up and down, living the child side of you though you know that's entirely impossible as it only consists of vapours. but yeah, they remind you a lot of cotton candies, offering colours from white, silver, grey and yellow sometimes, depending on where the sun is.

what made me recall all these is our visit to MAS hangar at Subang where we could explore the planes, the BIG planes which were there for maintenance. the ones i usually board were of the smaller ones, but to see the bigger ones is so much different. i mean, it's just HUGE. from the floor to the tip of the topmost of the tail equals the height of a multiple-storey building. and the one i saw was just the boeing 747, not even the jumbo A380. reminds you how tiny humans really are.

Airplanes are just amazing.

and today, instead of doing my report on the visit, i ended up wiki-ing more about planes. wikipedia is just magnificent, isn't it? recollecting my previous visit to Halim Mazmin facility in Langkawi during high school, Diamond DA aircrafts is still as desirable as it was when i first saw it. it's a light aircraft usually used by pilot school but also commonly popular for private use. who wouldn't like the idea of possessing own aircraft? how wonderful it is to surf through the clouds and witnessing the whole breathtaking scenery, eyebird view! what more, if it were to be with someone dear by your side.(*^▽^*) i'd love taking lessons to pilot it or just simply waits the other person to bring me around.... there, there, i afraid the fantasy would grow even wilder if i continue this on

 beautiful, isn't he? (hoho, i know people often refer as 'she', but i'm a grown-up healthy girl :P)

by the way, i just found what a lavish fathers could give his child as a memorable present. an experience being behind the 'wheels' of those huge Boeing 777.

as expected, the report is not even a word done. now i better start off!

SS day 1

like he said,

"counting the months"

okay, perhaps that's the exact thing i've been doing all the while. with that, we have a lot to be done from now on, like the application forms and so on

what should i write on it? hmmm, i'll let the neurons do their work on that sooner or later. i know i can't get off just by writing that i'm applying there because sensei told me to. hmmm....

but, the most important thing, what we have at the present time is the Short Semester. when the others are apparently enjoying their holiday, here we are working our brain intensively. life's not all joy and pleasure, i know that. but i'm wondering, seeing that the first subject we are focusing on have a lot to do with chemistry stuff, do i just have little chemistry with those? it's not like i have zero interest in it, but i realize it took me only a short while before it put me into slumber. dame da naa... iman, ganbare!

tomorrow would be an exciting one nonetheless. we are to visit Malaysia Airlines' place. supposedly the place where they keep their planes. i love big things. they're just impressive as to see how actually such a huge structure could send people through the sky. in my guess, they gonna show us the engine part or so. i'll try my best to get the best experience out of it. but i kinda fear when i would be frustrated were i to be clueless in front of these amazing stuff we gonna see. there, there, obviously there's a lot more i gotta learn.

reminds me how ignorant i am.

and also, apparently tomorrow the day where i would confirm my fear all the while, please2, no matter how the exam result would turn out, don't let it eat yourself, ok?

to walk and to shop

too tired to write anything....

have spent approx more than a month worth of scholarship

the joy of shopping is irresistible, though it comes together with sore feet.


and today, the urge to shop managed to suppress itself when i get myself too exhausted after trying to be on balance on the impossible two thin slice of metals under my feet on the so-very-not-smooth ice rink. now, that's what we call exercise. but at that moment, i miss my time with the companion i went with the last time i attempted ice-skating, Hide-kun, tasukete~~ however, skating made me realize something. the sheer strenuousness you have to persevere along the way and the patience that just might burst at any time whilst seeing own self so helpless and so slow in catching up with the rest, it all just feel familiar. yeah, just like when struggling in my studies. but i know i just have to go on, no matter how arduous it is. nevertheless, this pathetic self always weakly succumb to pain and give up every once in a while. sometimes i just feel so sorry for myself.

iman, ganbatte.

ちょっと、話変わったけど、結果は何でも、覚悟してね。


absolutely gotta thanks syara for the last few days, it was exciting!

different person, different taste

yes, now the exam's over, i felt like such an extremely huge load off my back.... i'm alive!

just the other day, we bumped into a situation where a lost squirrel got trapped in our house and freaked every each member of the house. and guess what, we live in 10th floor and there's no sign of any trees around up above there. and after numerous shouts and screams, the matter was safely resolved where it involved the owner of the mentioned creature himself and some unexpected reward. and what spiced it up was that they actually got heated up over the concerned man. well, at the beginning, i was left clueless but to see my housemates all excited. i didn't get to see the man at first but from what i heard, he's just good-looking-the reason they were all hyped up.

and at the end of the squirrel ordeal, i did manage to see him once. and.... more than being mesmerized by him, to see that in fact, me and housemates just have our own definitions in finding things fancy is enough to intrigue me. okay, eventually i just say he's like any other guy who i would just pass by without thinking of stealing a glance. well, obviously different case for my dearie housemates. but today, i guess things might just be the other way round.

i watched 'inception'.

not the first time, but today i'm captured by a figure i see on screen. and he never once escaped my sight throughout the movie. it's the 'arthur' character played by joseph gordon levitt. for this one, i'm sure the other girls in my house would just say, "nothing much" but it still can't avoid me from admiring how good looking this guy, especially when i notice so much of a resemblance between him and my adored japanese actor-kubozuka yosuke. of coz, not fully when one is japanese while the other is american. oh yea, i love those eyes. and if only levitt have the same kind of voice as kubozuka, i'm perfectly melted. nevertheless, i can assure the aura they exude off while on screen are equally captivating.

 

just some random pictures i found on net. undeniably the looks my eyes would stuck on

oh, 'the sorcerer's apprentice' was not bad too. at least it kept me awake despite being a midnight movie

hisashiburi ne?

contrary to what i thought, this time, i ended up deserting my blog for this exam period.

okay


-not entirely okay-

but i anticipate a thing that would put me in so much bliss. i guess that would compensate the grief due to the exam. and natsuki-chan was really cute~~ little do i regret going to bon odori too this year amidst this vital time.

korekaramo ganbarimasu!!!

really want to munch on subway at the moment

Onychophagia

not like i know how to pronounce that word.

what i know is that i've succumbed to it long before than i could remember.

thanks to it, my nails are always short. in fact verry short.

okay, enough of wiki read for today.



less than a week away before my sem exam start. i'm praying everyone could deliver their best, i'm hoping we all could pull it off together with if not astounding, at least results we can at least proud of.

despite the pressuring time-span.




yes, actually panic attacks. again.

but yet, what i'm hoping here is some coincidence so trivial to the most important matter at the moment.

イマン、勉強しなさい！！

p/s: shin-chan, is saitama that nice?

ありがとう先生

ハス先生、今日落ち込んでる私を笑わせてくれてありがとう。

なんか当てる分もあるね

-it's that time again-

apparently, june marks the lowest entry count. well, a lot happened, but more often than not, it's either i'm too occupied with other things or simply the internet would not cooperate with me. the later just plain irritating.

happy birthday to the whole lot who were born in June. there're several cases i realize it's particular someone's birthday and badly i want to wish the person's concerned but got no chance doing it.

my sentences are getting ever more complicated.

oh, it's TOIEC this saturday. what a great thing if i were to get full mark. but mistakes are utterly inevitable.



and the title of this entry applies to what would happen in less than a fortnight away.

SEMESTER EXAM

with inadequate studying, chased by many other academical obligations and haunted by unavoidable worries.

may everything goes all right.............. ~amin~



p/s: i sense an increase in blog post very soon............

ついてる、ついてる

okay, amidst time like now, i really like to sing along the song 'Dear God' from 'avenged sevenfold'. well, for the reason it has such line like this:

"i'm lonely and TIRED~...."

ummmm, undeniably the current period we're enduring right now might be among the toughest times as a student in this so great program of JAD. with only less than 3 weeks away from the big and important final exam, yet the load of works never seems to be lighter even a bit. and due to own very fault, you didn't bother to equip yourself first with sufficient studying beforehand because having fun is more inviting to do, so you ended up panicking when it's only the eleventh hour. adding more to that, we have to worry about which university we should apply to ensure we would get the best of it, it's more agitating when the one of your choice does not seem to be approved by the sensei who believe there are another one meant for you.

to the point you want to say, perhaps you've reached own limit you have no strength left to take another step.

疲れた！！

is what i want to say, but somehow, it seems someone made me realise i better not say that aloud or even as a silent whisper. might be funny but according to him, it could mean another thing,

「憑かれたー」=possessed

see, if it's said too frequent, the later meaning might just come true....

and i learnt this:

疲れてても

「ついてるついてる＾＾」

って言うのがいいらしい。


-even if you're tired, better to say "i'm hanging on, hanging on"-

^-^

thanks Kawabe-kun!


and yes, Kawabe-kun, you look so smart in a suit there! XD *oh someone, would you make me happy giving me their upcoming new album due to be released by this August?*

craving for pasta satiated + marvellous days

 at last, after few weeks been craving for pasta, i finally have it for myself. yummy!

well, that was only the beginning of a blasting friday nite-the last nite i got chance spending time with goda-oniisan.

.
.
.
.

oops, i think i got late reaction with that fact............

to be continued

the middle of the year, the middle of semester

so much of a good thing that the program i'm in now complies with the japan calendar, it just differs to most local universities, yeah, we're indeed NOT IN HOLIDAY.... in fact, we're really in the middle of the semester now

so, you can just imagine how bustling it is.. and just today, we had 2 tests.

not something i would like to talk about.

まあ、失敗は成功のもとでしょう。。。　

そして、洋平さんも言ったんじゃん、「あきらめたら、そこで試合終了」

ok, i should get my spirits up!

we went in the workshop this week. thank goodness it's not as hot as i thought. we haven't finished with the lathing, the rest will be completed by next week but i wonder do we have enough time for that... btw, it was funny when it just happened exactly the same like with the previous group as a friend of mine had told me, to see our TA so restless waiting for our sensei.

and someone made me very happy in the middle of the week too. never thought he would do that far just for us. that was so kind of him to remember about us and send stuff all the way from there. that just adds more to the gratitude i'm owing him now. how i wish i can already fly over there and see all these wonderful people~

for university fair tomorrow, i'm wishing everything to go well, really hope i could gather all the information i need, like sensei said, this is our sole chance of having direct interaction with people of our prospective universities. nihongo jouzu ni shaberaremasuyouni.....

and something relating to origami gave me a giggle today XP people can be so cute sometimes~

the passing days (photos updated!)

seems like this month my entry count is a lil bit less than usual but it doesn't mean nothing much is going on, in contrast there's a lot of stuff that i got my hands tied. but amidst that, there're also some happy and unexpected days~
like how we ended up touring KL

getting butterfly on my finger

and saw schools of fishes and lots of other creatures at aquaria

feasting on a scrumptylicious ice-cream

riding on the rollercoaster which was totally out of plan

buying a new blouse totally way above my regular price range

simple daily surprises such as having naan as lunch

or getting our circuit working after numbers of times it had failed

missed our bus home and hitched a ride on our beloved sensei's car, and he treated us for cheezy wedges

the 30seconds trailer of flumpool's new song (gosh, how  i want that upcoming single sooo much)


or the sudden development of the drama i've been watching

or reading some blog posts that just touch my heart(as explained here)



okay, supposedly the most of the above are only captions for photos i intend to put up there but the internet just won't be nice to me from the day before yesterday when i first wrote this post. so, whenever condition allows it, i'll rethink on updating this again.
photos updated!!

but yeah, thanks to a whole lot of people who just make my life brighter. everyday is full of challenges, bearing it with all the sweet memories, we all can make it through together~


p/s: this blog somehow is like a rollercoaster ride

turbulent

point 1:

so many things have broken, literally and metaphorically. due to the overwhelming works we have, it has gone past my physical limit and so does my mental limit and i'm still trying my best to strain myself to last each day. too many stuff to cram in my head, my patience has no more to spare. to say honestly, maybe it's not too much, perhaps it's just me who's so stupid to utilise my time. facing that truth, my spirit breaks yet again. the condition of the house which need repairs and has long not mended till now, i'm irritated and no one just cares.

point 2:

to learn and to learn, you've immersed into the deeper world of unknown. to know more means to discover the whole lot bigger counterpart of what you don't know. sometimes i wonder just how oblivious i am, i'm practically the same as knowing nothing. well, people say ignorance is bliss, but isn't it frustrating? so often to be buckled with the sense of insecurity, like at any moment you could just disappear and perish just because you know absolutely nothing. yet to know how the world works, yet to know how to make a mark on this world, yet to know a whole lot of other things.

point 3:

i'm clueless about a species called 'homo sapien'. if only we can check the meter of humans' feeling like in analog meter or digital ones. it's too much a puzzle, figuring it out has become an endless game. i prefer not it can just be read like a book, words are confusing just the same. to reach and connect and to understand is just so damn hard. to sincerely say out loud of what's in the head can hardly be actually done. too afraid, too scared of the plausible unwanted outcome. or is it simply coz i'm just damn selfish? when i thought i'm thinking about others, it's only about me in the end. yeah, the reckless me. never i am the altruist coz i'm a narcissist.



perhaps, i'm being ungrateful, only ungrateful people complain. nonetheless to have so much questions in life is just part of being human, isn't it?

-done spewing out part of what has been held in by far, proceeding to sleep therapy-

snapped!

not totally in a good mood

jaa!

lethargic-happy-voiceless

okay, the third one was near lie. i still got my voice but it's nowhere near my normal voice.

hayaku naorimasuyouni

too much to say yet i don't know how to put it.

and this sleepiness kicks in too hard, i'm hoping i can be genki soon. (oh my, i'm losing the words, i'm mixing whatever in my head now)

briefly, there's so much people that have my gratitude at this moment, yes, i'm so damn happy

despite the exhausting days we have to go through. undoubtedly, no one can escape from being fatigue at this rate.



jaa, will be updating soon where the conditions are more favourable.

THANKS A LOTTT! I LOVE YOU GUYS!! real life can be so delightful at times~~

one wishlist cleared!

in fact, there were just too many good stuffs happened yesterday, one of them being getting something i've coveting so much all this while.

to put yesterday chronologically, it started at 8 a.m. saturday at 8 a.m!! if it's a usual saturday i would be still lying on bed. but yesterday was a Saturday with an agenda. i was actually going for a KL tour! hahaha, for nearly 20 years i've lived that's quite a first time doing so. actually i was just tagging along when a friend of mine invited me to join them. so there we goes, head count: 14. i know that's quite a large party but it was exciting nonetheless. and tht's the first time i ever hanged out with junior girls. a lot of them too. and the whole purpose of the tour is to let our TAs enjoy KL. in short, we're the tourist guides and also fellow interpreters for them :P

so, what's there to show in kl? ok, that pretty put me in a bind too. i mean, what i know about places in kl only limited to its shopping malls and such. so, for our dear tourists, there's at least something else we could show. there's a lot, isn't it?

so we ended up going to national museum and butterfly garden. :D

okay, perhaps museum is out of my knowledge range, but they currently hold an exhibition about coffins. quite interesting actually. but poor them, there's no japanese in the descriptions so i don't think they could understand it so much. and after that brief stop at the museum, we actually enjoyed our time in the butterfly garden. what i could think of actually was that's a good place for dating (okay, i know i'm lame). though the numerous number of butterflies can creep you out, it's still beautiful and fascinating. i got one on my finger! that is after it stopped on goda-san's arm and just stayed there. is his body emanating sweet honey or what?

moving on to the next venue, we came into a family whose 2 daughters are so cute~~~ i didn't get bored playing with the baby, it's simply too adorable despite the fact i'm not actually fond of kids. but this one is irresistible. oh emily, have a good time in malaysia though i'm sure you won't remember your time here after all.

and then, the main attraction of its all, KLCC. hahaha, i don't know for how many times i've stepped in there this year. and i'm just absorbed in kinokuniya just like always. but yesterday, it was so exciting, other than buying a book i've been looking all these while, i also discover someone else that could relate to my predilection. yea, frankly i didn't bother with him before, but we have such common interest it's such a delight. shimoyama-san, i'll remember that recommendation of yours, i'll read it for sure! i'll be waiting for the day i could actually read all those isaka koutarou's novels. i've been attracted to his works when i watched the movie adaptations from his novels. man, that's quite a style! i'm sure the novels are even more penetrating than the adaptations. now i really hope my nihongo is already so damn well enough to be able to read those.

and last but not least, petaling street and central market. that really gave me a giggle. i'm wondering what purpose does they come here all the way from japan for. they ended up buying a whole lot of anime dvds and very little of anything else. at least, they got to experience durian. i really think it's rare to find someone who would like it coz none of them does. and also what poor luck to buy a defected good it's broken a while after the purchase. and we walked and walked and walked it was already nearing dusk.

yea, time to return. yet, while the rest were heading home, i made a detour to fulfill my objective of the day and went to midvalley. however, it seems like what i want to do can't be done after all. instead, i found what has long been in my wishlist, and an affordable one at that. oh my, i've really been spoiling myself...

with name engraved :D but at least, someone understands this one fancy of mine

 but looking at yesterday, now i really really want a camera!!!