Tuesday, October 27, 2009

the repulsive force

this sem, our physics' class are mainly centered on electric stuff. the electrons and all. well, like we won't be writing down F=ma for a while now though i guess quite everything is derived from there.

and one of the things we have to remember is that the electrons attract and repels. the opposites attract, whereas the likes repel.

so, here what i'm trying to say is, do myself and my stuff have the same charges?

it seems like things like to disappear from me, like we're repulsive of each other. that's exactly what makes me so irritated for the moment.

this year alone, i've lost 2 cameras.

oh yea, the second one cost me. so now, i exactly understand the feeling of losing something you get on your own effort.

it's frustrating.

but there are hardly anything i could do now other than just 'pasrah' for it. a part was my own fault too after all.

however, what makes me pissed off the most would be the fact that i am no more able to take pictures, coz that exact device is somehow can be regarded as my diary. taking a line from a manga i liked, taking pictures is the same as 'creating memories'. it's very nice to flip over the pages of the past in a while right? reminiscing those happy2 moments can make us go on when the present is not as pleasant as you expected it to be.....

coz humans brain is not being used to its optimum, memories can be so not long-lasting and patheticly unreliable. it can just disappear the moment you got ur attention caught on somewhere else.

for the moment, i just got to make do by salvaging others camera for memories like this, :D(me n mami-san got matching colour!!)

buy a new one? ..........certainly the circumstance does not allow me to at the moment
well, to say so, now i'm not even in one where i should blog, oh yabai, i never repent it seems. shukudai, report, dun stare at me with those eyes~~

Sunday, October 25, 2009

useless evasion + anticipation

i don't like saying it like this, but it seems i'm so always quite in trouble that i create by myself. and thus, panic follows.

honestly, so many obligations that i have but this lazy self just continues its vain effort of denying them all. gosh, i've promised myself i would be a better person, what more now i'm already in sem 2 of my 2nd year in jad. i'm already halfway to my target to fly to nihon.

alas, the thing i constantly fear happens.

is this what they say "history repeats itself"??

i had already felt so sluggish even in the first week since sem2 started. and it doesn't change much it has now turned to week 4 already. yes, almost a month. yes, supposed there's already a lot i should have learnt and carved those into my mind. yes, in this kind of time, the quizzes and tests follow to appear to put all of those in check. but then,i still am so comfortable of being idle, doing nothing. little do i care about the classes and all. am i qualified to be considered as humans? humans have their own useful functions, rite?

i'm quite petrified with the thoughts of having tests (this coming week, i'm doomed with the zairyou and jouhou shori having test one after another, and my dread towards c language still haven't come to its end) , but still this body responds so little to make an approach to overcome all that. like how my heart still yearns more to feed my current obsession. my eyes seem to refuse meeting those stuff i'm originally supposed to confront with. my fingers constantly dance on this black keyboard like how i'm doing it now and my back prefers to be lying down being so cozy. ああ、どうすれば良い??

let's take it one by one for the moment. ganbarimasu!! and yes, i just like to embed videos in my post, so here i present, "sakebe"!! for the sole reason of the shared line in the song and my post today-"history repeats itself" :P

_____++if you perhaps are thinking, eh, this kid hasn't ended the post yet? yup, somehow i ended up so long, if u treasure your time, feel free to use it for somewhere else useful, as how bad i felt stealing ur time for such crap, amidst this excitement, i myself felt bad wasting my time away ++______

so, along with all those vain denial, i am also overwhelmed by sheer anticipation. 1st would be as i had stated before where i finally found what i need/want. though it was with some objections but for such a thing when i feel it's more profitable just to get it, even it'll cost me, i'll go for it. there goes a part of my saving for my new jisho! so now, what's left is to patiently wait it to arrive here :D

and 2ndly, this too would cost me but definitely i won't miss this chance. i was so extremely ecstatic to receive the news of the release of the full album from none other but my favourite japanese band, flumpool!! this is apparently their first time releasing a full one, even the previous one was a mini album as it only contained a number of songs(which i listen to by getting it from widely-used means - internet). what made me more delightful is the surprisingly affordable price they would sell it. zettaini, chanto te ni ireruyo!! well, there is still a while until the awaited release day, but i'm so inpatient now. hope this one will cover the dejection of not being able to fulfill my desire of watching them live.

un, as the previous one, they never fail to create such an attention grabber as the cover. this one somehow makes me feel like pinching those chubby cheeks~~

Thursday, October 22, 2009

sleepiness's a disease

urm, though my sleeping in class has become somewhat a usual sight, for today, i received quite a frank comment from my sensei.


well, couldn't really escape from being that embarassed whenever ur sensei just plainly note in front of the class how u slept, mimicking it...

can't help it, due to this cold i have along with the runny nose, it's normal to breathe orally rite, well, tht's practically a no-no thing to do if u're asleep-especially in class... enough of that

at least, i didn't sleep at all during 1 hour and half of our recorded class :D (so very proud of this), i've told this before, this sensei can be quite amusing to watch. or is it because today's content was not that hard? it was something we've learnt anyway


actually, today is quite bitter for me. well, not that anyone cares but today, flumpool performs at budoukan!!! it's a big thing, in nihon that is. it's the first time i've ever felt like really really really want to watch a performance live. in this case, of coz i have absolutely no way to ever attend this big event :'( they're fabulous performers from what i've heard so it really tears my heart apart not being able to. now, i really wish they would at least make it into a dvd or whatsoever so i could also watch it later (well, can't help it i can't watch it live now)


daijoubu, ato 2nen dekiru deshou, jaa ganbarimashou!!!

and for this runny nose of mine, i've got myself a remedy, straight from the pharmacy. huhuhu, never thought those 7 cute pills would cost me that much though..... my wallet's becoming thinner at such a fast pace now

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

pain is there to make u remember of Him

熱が出たりすると 気付くんだ 僕には体があるって事
鼻が詰まったりすると 解るんだ 今まで呼吸をしていた事

when I come down with a fever I notice that I've got a body
when my nose gets stuffed up I understand that I've been breathing all this time

do i have to embed the same video again? those were the 1st 2 lines of Supernova (as embedded in my previous post-just scroll down there, listen if u're that free, it's truly a nice one)

yes, i'm caught with cold, and i'm so troubled with this runny nose of mine

but still, today's futsal was exciting!! the sweat? no need to mention.... at the moment, i'm just plain lethargic but still the procrastinated works just stare at me........ now if only i've done it earlier

"'mungkin' itu dah x ada (bagi perkara yang dah berlalu), 'mungkin' itu hanya wujud bagi mereka yang x bersyukur apa yang ada di depan mata"
-one of the touching lines from 'Papadom'-i'll surely talk about this interesting movie in my future post

so now, ciou

Thursday, October 15, 2009

long-distance, supernova

it's like i always miss out writing down things that plausibly be the most memorable moments i ever have but certainly i'll say, this year's raya was a blast.

definitely, it was quite unexpected but all the way through, how we ended up having a convoy and everyone's having fun can hardly be forgotten. i can't express enough gratitude to all my friends who made all that happen, i'm so happy it all beyond words. thanks for all who came to my house last friday, altogether in 9 cars. glad u're all so pleased. sorry there wasn't enough satay for all of you anyway. but still, thanks! and for the convoy the next day, i would say, it was entirely fabulous and exciting! especially thanks to izmier who gave me a ride on his car, truly thank you for driving carefully instead of scaring me :P. one thing i would laugh each time remembering this would be the scene of a row of cars with 'P' driving down the road... hahaha, what a wonderful convoy that certainly was. (now i sound like yoda)

the whole members of the convoy who were packed in all the 8 cars

well, everything else aside, u just can guess how this food-lover self stuff herself up that day. from now, diet ka naa..

so, as for the title for this post, they're absolutely 2 different things entirely. firstly, today, for the 1st time for this semester, we had our 'long-distance class'. honestly, before it started, i was already appalled to attending the class (it's not like i had to choice not to) as i remembered the way we had it last sem. it apparently could be the most boring class thanks to the nature of the class where we only stare at the monitor listening to whatever the sensei is teaching in it, accompanied by the slides. no 2-way interactions or whatsoever, hardly any break for more than an hour long lecture. certainly there's no way i could stand such a thing, what more, even the contents make little effort in attracting me to the class.

however today, as we entered the class, when i expected it was gonna be a 'real time'-sort of live video conference for today is our first class, we were served straight to the contents-the recorded video. i could only say i was instantly filled with all the negative feelings, please, spare me from this. but then, once it started, no image of the sensei, his voice could be heard but only the front page of the powerpoint slide could be seen on screen.

"oops, i forgot to turn on the camera"

he's funny.

certainly, this time we get a different sensei for this, well, they're different subjects. though this time, he do not greet us 'selamat petang' at the beginning of the video, but i found him more amusing and enjoyable to listen to. at first look, he's quite young and energetic too. the way he kept addressing us in the lecture made me quite attentive to what he's saying. but when he says "i'll talk a bit slower for the sake of the malaysian students who are watching this lecture, so i'm sure a lot of you(the japanese students attending his lecture over there) would be so sleepy". well, one thing i could be so certain is there will be absolutely a lot more who sleep during that class over here compared to the students in front of him for the lecture. can't help it, no matter how interesting he could be.

so, obviously this sleepyhead me had her slumber moments too today even just for a while.

this is absolutely another matter, but i guess happiness do spread, isn't it? for some particular reason, one of my friends is so elated today, she's leaping so high in the sky. i'm so happy to see her that happy. how a single phone call could make her so jovial, now i'm daydreaming if only on my birthday, ryuuta would call me to wish 'happy birthday' to me....... ^-^ i guess that could make me in extreme bliss, i would be extra motivated even in studying undeniably for a very very long time... talking about the impossibles here :P there's nothing wrong in dreaming, rite :D

so, amidst my obsession on flumpool, i guess i can't stop thinking and talking about them to those around me even though they have no clue to who these people are. they're just so adorable i can't stop this fascination, it just shoots up. when i introduced them to my japanese sensei, so happy she likes them too, but i guess people's taste are different. perhaps, matured women prefer matured looking men instead of such adorable face like ryuuta. :D :D (totally how i like it though) then, as for the music, she did mention how flumpool's music totally suits the taste for those who favours 'mr. children' and 'bump of chicken'. indeed, i like mr. children's song but for the latter group, i've only ever heard of the name but didn't quite listen to them, so today, when i finally checked them out, oh yeah, my sensei's right. here's supernova

but certainly, this can't defeat my love for flumpool, in comparison, flumpool has this style of music which really makes me listen to their song over n over, together with both ryuuta's mellifluous voice and charming look. well, the other members are equally attractive too (hahaha, so obvious i'm so obsessed with flumpool now). but for a change of pace, i wouldn't mind listening to this other band too. just means i've just added another into my favourite list, oh please, stop this craziness.....

Thursday, October 8, 2009

didn't see that one coming

honestly, this post is just stuff that're running through my mind at the moment.

well, today, we had an early leave, compared to the other day of the week. our class ended at 3.30. in fact we practically only had 2 class for today, one of which is laboratory that only consumed half of the time it's allocated for. an hour and half of wasting time followed afterwards.

but then, today i guess my mind is mainly occupied by something which bothered me so much. i'm really sorry i couldn't handle things well. everything's quite messed up in my world. so, i'm sorry again if that troubles others. but in a way, beside my worries, i'm quite pleased with the situation. that's unexpected.

thanks, my friends!

but still, no matter how much, i still want to apologize to someone precious whose heart i'm afraid i've hurt. i dunno why but i sort of like understand if i were to view from her perspective. probably i'll be the same if i'm in her shoe. ok. voicing out not an easy thing, so i don't blame you when i didn't notice that you're in fact bothered.

and then, another thing suddenly came to me when i least expected it. it's been a long time i've been irritated by not being able to use the electronic dictionary that could write kanji like i used to. i just bear with it, consoling myself i could get myself a better one later, especially when i already at nihon (amin~~). somehow, today the talk of electronic dictionary came up, leading me to search around on the net.

and i found it.
an affordable one with all the contents i need without all those unnecessary stuff. and it looks like it'll be useful for a long time.

ok! mou kimeta. sore wo te ni ireru koto ni suruyo! senpai, yoroshiku onegaishimasu~~

so, now i'm welcoming for tomorrow yet not having even done any of the works i got from my beloved senseis. later ka na...

procrastination is one's best friend?

oh yea, everyone's welcomed to my house tomorrow nite. dun be shy2 cat la....

Monday, October 5, 2009

mou gakkou?

oh yea, our school officially starts as of today!!!

a good thing? that might differs to individuals

whatever it is, today we are pelted with all the learning stuff after a long while. i did see that coming but it is still shocking with this current state of mind. yea, my mind is still comfortably in the idle mood. but yeah, reality is reality, it won't go no matter how many times i try to escape to my fantasy.

in reality, there's physics, there's math, there's c language, there is nihongo-the difficult stuff, the appalling and appealing ones.

those are the ones i was to confront for the day, not including the others which is sure coming to me in the rest of the week.

but i'm sure looking forward to my chemistry class again after so long. hehehe

and, this time too, we have new TAs coming here. (for non-JAD students, TA is Teacher Assistant, they are master students who came here to aid the lecturers handle the classes/labs as well as our place to practise japanese as they live at the same place as us). the funny thing is, yesterday when everyone just got back here with lots of food from home, we also invited 2 of them to join the feast with us. with the only restaurant unopened, they came with empty stomach i guess. so, just imagine how excited they were to be able to eat the various raya food. what made it so funny is of course we had to explain each and every food served, but then we are out of words. looks like our nihongo just has gone away with the long holiday we had. misuse of words are just so plenty that made it so hard to make them understand what we were actually explaining. anyhow, they enjoyed the food very much, glad that they did.

hope they get a good first MH, as MAS promotes it, MH is Malaysian Hospitality.


but, me still being me, just love to immerse myself in my fantasy where i could smile, being pleased all the way. currently, i'm so into this song (in one of my previous posts, i've embedded the prologue to it, so this is the full song). b4, i've said they might sneak into my favourites, yes, they've done it.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

a week digest

though i kept bragging that i got the whole week off while everyone else has returned to their everyday routine after the eid, there was practically not much that i had done in that time. it's quite frustrating coz it's not an often thing that we have such a holiday. but then, i could not do much as i could not move around as i like.

but i guess, i have something to remember for each day that had passed for this week.

monday - i went to safiyyah's house. finally met her after so long. her lil bro was once so little has now so grown up and sooo cute. nevertheless, so chicky.

tuesday - my parents were not home during dinner so i went out with my bro to eat out. it was carl's jr. to his disappointment, it's not as big as he expected and even i could actually finish it. somehow it felt a lot bigger when i had it first time before. my verdict, it felt so big coz i was there while hanging out with my friends, well if i go for the sake of eating alone, it's certainly not a big deal to finish it.
and i bought 2 dvd and watched both of them that same night. sassy girl sure makes you laugh big time and truly the korean version has much more substance compared to the english adaptation. okuribito (the departure) sure is funny in its own way and has a deep story in it as well as an insight to a world less known to all of us-how they manage the dead bodies before cremating them. in one of the scene, it managed to make me greatly touched just by one line by the main actor, seriously, while i watched it alone in the middle of the night, i could feel tears (that's unlikely for me).

wednesday - went to Dila's makan-makan at the stable. was so excited to see the horses especially the bonzai ones. couldn't help to laugh my heart out to see it, it's so small compared to the other horses we used to see. and i find horses are not much different with cats when i stroke their heads, they get pretty 'manja'. thx rifqi for fetching me but still i had to admit, his driving is scary. :P

thursday - out of sheer hunger and sheer stupidity to cook by myself, i actually went all the way to the shops down the hill and back up here to buy some buns and drinks. it's been a long time i've done any exercise so i guess it was good for me in a way. undeniably, 2 weeks of holiday just lazing around are of no help but a negative factor to my losing weight plan.

friday- for the night, there was a wedding invitation at putrajaya, my childhood friend's sister. as usual, coz i don't know how to feed myself proper food for the day, i was expecting a satisfying dinner to suffice that. however, we was kinda late and we had to make do with whatever that's still available then. honestly, my glutton self was asking for more but there was no helping it. but thankfully, i got to meet 2 of my ex-schoolmates. everyone's so grown up now. and also the parents of a friend i've been lost contact for a long time. i'll try to give her a ring sometimes later.
and unexpectedly upon our return home, one of the cats at my house died, a run-over accident by my dad's car. i saw her final moments where not even a faintest cry could be heard while her body excruciatingly fought death . perhaps when she was hit, her vocal chords got damaged. today, the others cats were pretty quiet than usual.

saturday(TODAY) - frankly, i'm quite irritated now, explaining such a half-assed blog entry for the day. the thing was that i am supposed to go raya with my friends but i couldn't make it. like any 'janji melayu' would be, time is hardly ever be of concern. if only we went to the wedding much earlier or even be the first guest there and then go to kl when the road not yet that congested, probably we could reach home early and i can join my friends. such an irony that they were coming so close to here but i'm not even available at home. and i haven't met with faseeha yet even when our houses are not so much apart(by car that is). truly, i really2 wanted to go.

and another thing that makes me on edge the most is that now, i can no longer read kazuki's everyday rambles on their blog, which i've been reading for every single day since early this year. it really entertains me in the same time helps me in my nihongo. as far as i know, now flumpool's fanclub has been officially launched, the access is to the members only which are off-limit to me coz i'm not living in nihon obviously. this is not fair! i'm a die-hard flumpool's fan too. how i desire for this self to already be in nihon right now.

and for tomorrow, the last day of the week, i hate to say it but i have face it after all, i have to return to shah alam and prepare for the new semester. i'm still haven't gotten into the mood.