Tuesday, March 30, 2010

to waver so much

seems like today's post might just be a self-ramble. like anyone cares though, it's not like there's much people bother to read everything i blurt out here. but something hit me hard today when i'm reflecting back all those days i've been through.

semester break with practically nothing to do. well, some days turned out well but the remaining counterpart was nothing but wasted away. some plan succeed but most failed. and when i want to identify what might be the factor of this misery, it all pointed back to me. and i was reminded to a song-konjou nashi. gutless.

i dunno why but i get a feeling people thought of me as bold. not entirely wrong, but most times i'm just a pure coward. to analyse why i ended up like how i am so, perhaps it's the enclosed environment i've been so complacently in from long ago. i easily got afraid to reach out. and i know i hate that. i'm reaching 20 yet i feel i've only lived a life worth so short a time of experiences. what good is life idling away in oblivion?

and i kept wondering what makes it so hard to communicate with others. here, communication that i mean is the whole process till the end of it where you get what you desire from that very interaction. often, i ended up frustrated, unable to achieve my goal. the simplest example: to enquire something from a stranger is completely a arduous task for me. even when there's nothing i should worry about like in a circumstance where i'm a customer asking a person in charge at the premise. don't they say that 'customers always right'? but i can't help getting intimidated.

that thing aside, i might also in fear whether the other party got offended or burdened. always, i don't mean what i say but i don't really know how to ensure what the other side are thinking. and whether i've been imposing myself too much. eventually, to just take that first step is so much a hassle i'd rather step back. further, i'm shrouded in misery. i want to connect but i'm utterly clueless on how to. but i really want to.

nonetheless, when the first wall has been gone over, i have no idea as to how to continue on. to be at a loss for words or even what to think is simply depressing.


from 10 to 1

to wake up early after so long having used to just sleep in sure is tough. so my day started at 10 a.m.

okay, i might sound like a slob which i'm afraid i really am one for i usually open my eyes only in the afternoon. but yesterday, it was different. i had a mission. i'm determined of getting myself a map, i've always wanted one but there's just no one to give it to me. frankly speaking, there was more than once i've been seriously thinking of just snatching the one from our class and take it home to stick in my bedroom wall. i always like looking at maps and what i haven't have is the majestic nihon map. my world map has been tattered so bad it doesn't fit to be sticked on the wall no more.

the wall is naked.

okay, with exception for that clock, and 'がんばって' lil poster, and a modest picture of a building of keio daigaku-this is lia's obviously.

so, there started my quest for a map which i hope there'll be sold somewhere in kl. i went to kinokinuya, the likeliest place it could be. ok, i did found one-the folding traveller's one. i guess my search is quite over so while i just hold it in my hand, i tried to give myself super-excitement by getting this chance to get the flumpool artistbook i've been coveting so much. the last time i checked on the net, it's in stock. oh, it's not among the magazines, so i checked with the counter. hmm, he was looking so hard for it too, i mean i've checked there, of course it's not there when you look at the same place. it's not anywhere. to my disappointment, the book just can't be found, and here he said:

"perhaps someone has gotten it before you came, we had TWO of it"

what?? of coz someone has taken it coz they have reserved it beforehand (of which one of these people just happens to be in my knowledge), but then, you only have TWO??? i know this favourite band of mine is not that popular and maybe it's still fresh, but you only got TWO of it??? why?? do you think there's only 2 people in malaysia who wants to get their hands on it?? せっかくそこまで来たのに~ たまたま、今日お金をたっぷり持ったのに~


and when i'm not frustrated enough, when i checked the map i got in my hand, it's not exactly what i want. it's wholly in romaji~ gosh, it just defeats the purpose then. the whole reason i want to have that very map is so that i can read those kanji. how else can i get used to those stupid names of places with so confusing kanji they have. yea, i enjoy looking at maps and i want to perfectly know how to read it! oh pleaseee. and then the man recommended me to go somewhere else. japan club? why did i feel i never heard of that?

more sweats and more getting clueless on the street, first i came into JFKL library which i never even knew existed so near the midvalley. wow~ it just seems so interesting but not today. then i walked on to a point i felt i'm completely lost in the middle of KL until i finally saw the sign. but what awaited me at the end of the road really came to me as a surprise. Institut Bahasa Teikyo(IBT)?? WOW, it's just located here all along? whatever. this discovery by accident didn't budge me from my original intention. seems that that japan club the guy was talking was here after all and there was supposed to be a some kind of a store which plausibly have what i'm searching for. i just barged in a place so alien to me. only to end in vain. they don't have it here either but what they do have is exteremly appealing to me. used manga, rental manga, rental dvd-all kinds, be it jdrama(even the very latest ones), jmovie or english hit tv series. i never knew such place really exist in KL. hohoho, so if i were a member, i could just easily use all these facility? how convenient.

when i thought i would just walk home in half-disappointment, an even more unexpected thing happened. my awkward presence here was somehow spotted my junior from high school who is currently studying there. a very nice surprise. we had quite a long chat before waiting for her bus home. and guess how luxurious they are provided to be, from air-conditioned house moving to a condo. but well, looking at what they have to learn in class, seems so tough for me. imagine, to learn about history or geography in an entirely different language you ever been used to. super-tough for me. at least math and physics heavily deals with numbers-the same system agreed by the whole world.

so dusk came by, but my day was far from over. straight away, a few minutes after reached home, i'm moving once again. to the airport. Sabu's leaving tonight and i ought to at least see him off. i can't deny this tinge of envy to see him leaving for nihon ahead of us. but then it just means it's now less than 365 days before our turn. okay, not long, but not before mountful of reports as second year student. that's somehow scary. it's not that i dread it so much but it can be a pain in the head. so, after waving our goodbyes and wishing all the best, the four of us who went(Rifqi the 'careful' driver, while the rest being the girls who keeps the car alive with noise) got back in the seat of the car, got back to reality and listened well enough to our stomach's grumbling. time to eat!

well, not before Kinta decided to pose for pictures at Putrajaya in the night time. one lucky bridge as a setting for our stop and what a nice breeze it was. nice pictures followed i hope. good thing there was only a few cars passing by or many would think who are these crazy people.

and our dinner cum supper was satiated at a mamak place. to generously put sauce and mayo on a naan is not really a nice idea those mamak have come out with.

and when we've sent the other two safely back to shah alam, i guess the sleepiness finally kicked in. oh, it was already 1 o'clock.
nevertheless, of course i won't just fall asleep straight away, not with such driving i could yet feel fully reassured of :P whatever it is, thanks rifqi for bringing kinta, lani and me along!

Monday, March 29, 2010

where did i lost my key?

hmmm, by now, when i'm surfing around and goes blog-hopping, it seems most of my fellow coursemates(or even the other course) have been in touch with reality-holiday almost over. yeah, they're already revving their engine for the coming semester. and me here, it's like i even forget where's the key to switch on my engine. hahaha. and, as of now, there's one thing that's been in mind of every each of us, THAT paper..

well, i guess i have to do a search in my memories to remember where did i put that sheet of paper though.

am i wrong if i'm thinking whatever work i'll do after graduate, i'll figure out later? not now? i mean, let me explore whatever opportunities there are before reaching to a conclusion what kind of work i want to do. the me at this moment knows so little about anything. even if i say i've gone through one year as engineering student, i barely know what engineering is about... gosh, this only makes me look so damn ignorant. but, i'm serious. i don't know what to expect. apparently, my biggest problem now is i don't even have a picture of what i want to be in the future. okay, aside from being rich enough to possess everything i desire materialistically and plausibly a nice family to be built-hehehe, that's just every girls' dream.

anyway, to everyone facing the same worry as i am, wishing you all find the answer before the deadline. would i be scolded if i just say the reason i'm choosing a university is based on its theme colour?

talking about colour, the black dragon in the movie i watched last afternoon was really cute! i'm not so fond of black usually but this one is very adorable. okay, perhaps the big, soft-looking eyes makes me feel so. i can't help squealing a bit when it makes such a cute gesture. and funny how it's named 'toothless'. yea, i'm talking about 'how to train your dragon'. it's another animation movie which i love! it's hilarious, heart-warming, and enjoyable to watch from beginning to end. the animation works as always, stunning-which is why you have to see it in original, not from some shitty pirated dvds where the quality pictures gone down the drain. for the story, it's a story about a boy who are physically different among the society of viking he's living in. yea, might be stereotypical to any other story where there's a weak character and keep causing trouble to everyone around him, but hoping one day these people will acknowledge him. so, in this story, this stick boy happens to shoot down a dragon most feared by all people, and discovers that these dragons they have been fighting are more than just meets the eye.

well, it's a story about courage, and using your brain.

but i love how funny some lines from the movie can be. it's said in such a plain way, but i can burst out laughing all i could. nevertheless, at some point of the story i can't escape being a bit jealous to the main character of the story when he had found what he can do in his life, and to find something he is so good at, unlike me. i feel like i'm a lost cause. okay, perhaps it's only a matter of time........ only time......

Saturday, March 27, 2010

galileo galilei

okay, not the galileo we've known in astronomical field (i believe i learnt he's the one with the telescope), it's another of my new fancy in music, jmusic specifically.

well, i gotta thank youtube for leading me to the wonderful music from them, the first song i heard was the following: 管制塔(kanseitou)

the version that i actually listened to was from their live during an event, so in the beginning it was some other noise and talks for the event. and then when the performance began, i was instantly caught."wow, nice" was what i thought. afterward, when the vocalist's voice subtly seeps in, i just know this is my type of song.... it's simply piercing.

so, who are actually the guys behind this beautiful song? i knew i've heard of them before, but at that time i have no time to care. they're a group of four consisted of boys, the oldest being my age. gosh, they're young! and two of them are brothers. i imagine how they would go to school with concerts and of course the practices filling their schedule. their official website is cute too *-*

there adds my favourite. i could see they're a promising band. perhaps i'll try watching them live when i got a chance, aside from my plan of watching flumpool(this is a must-watch!)-that is after i reached nihon of course. somehow i feel this kind of songs are better listened when they're performed live, there's more feeling in it, it reaches deeper. part of it must be because of the stage-presence i guess. rather than just utilizing one sole sense thru the earphones,  to be mesmerized fully by other senses is definitely more enjoyable. now, my desire to go gushes up and up. can't wait~~

p/s: listening back to my list of favourites-flumpool, radwimps, bump of chicken, spitz, weaver, greeeen, mr. children, yuzu- they all sound pretty the same, just how i like it ^.^ oh, and they're all males

Thursday, March 25, 2010

terengganu escapade (a long-winded account)

what terengganu ever reminded me of is none other than the long long journey just to reach there. i remembered when i was little, i lay at the back seat of the car, sleep and waking up, sleep again and wake up again and we still hadn't reach our destination. a very tiring journey i would say. but last week, i have no regret making that long journey one more time.

it's really worth it! -first of all, you just have to take night bus coz u wouldn't realize the passing time. it was a short 3 days and 3 night trip but it was so eventful and such a memorable time i've spent there.

Day 1(Sat, 20 March):
Kuala Terengganu/Marang
this is the trigger for the idea for the whole trip. it was the wedding of our sensei! of coz, initially i would've never thought of attending coz obviously, it's so far! but then, a lot of us were planning to go, and it just seemed so interesting. very interesting, indeed! we went in a convoy of 4 cars, head count: 19. it really was a merry occasion. and i never thought what i said hits the bull's eye when i jokingly said we would only be in time if only sensei is jawa, uhukuhukjawa has amazing time definitionuhukuhuk. and her family really is! in the middle of terengganu. though we were kinda late, we still were welcome. and the souvenir we received were really into our liking-cute homemade tissue holder, folding fan and umbrella! thanks sensei! wish you a happy marriage till the end of time.

and i would like to extend my gratitude to saro's family for their hospitality along my stay that whole day(and night). my first time having nasi dagang as breakfast.

Day 2(Sun, 21 March):
the highlight of the whole trip- Redang Island!!!!! actually, i really dislike getting on board the ferry but i've no regret getting on this one. what awaited us at the island was really breathtaking and astonishing. i can't help giggling when suki keep saying "i feel like we're not in Malaysia". oh yeah, this Redang plan only comprised of us three-me, huda and suki. an adventurous bunch, aren't we? hehehe... so, as soon as we arrived there, the crystal-clear sea amuses us so much, we didn't wait frolicking on the beach, getting excited with the sight of the beautiful scenery all around us. and that very afternoon, we straight on getting our first time experience to snorkel. so funny there's none of us who could swim, so initially i didn't deny we were a bit chickened out. but when i saw the view inside the sea, woaaaaa, kirei!!!!!! this is no longer only visible thru the tv screen, it's before my two very eyes. it's like an entire forest perfectly preserved, only that it's underwater. subhanallah~~ so, so, so, so beautiful!!! can hardly describe it in words. i'm completely enchanted. the corals, the fishes, the whole creatures i don't know what they are called, i was speechless. the guide kindly caught a clownfish to let us it close-up, let us touch gamat and more importantly led us around coz we don't know how to move, hahaha. i really wanna do it again. next plan, anyone?

oh yea, here we also met with a very friendly couple, especially the wive. can't really guess she's actually a mother of two. she looks so young and lively. they're more adventurous than us, they just got on the boat and randomly survey a place to stay upon arrival, cancelling their original plan. somehow i felt like doing the same someday, in nihon kanaa...

Day 3(Mon, 22 March):
well, we returned from Redang after only 1 night. tarinai naa... well, our budget only goes as far. the ferry trip back was a lot better, i'm grateful for that but my pants is all sandy-Redang sand. so, before heading on our next destination, we stopped by Pasar Payang which is just next to the jetty we arrived at. my objective fulfilled-i just wanted to buy Asam Jawa which to my surprise my 2 buddies has never tried. it's way better than any of its derived products. the original still is the best. then, boarded on the bus, never knew Kuala Terengganu and Kemaman is so far. but i was very disturbed with a fellow passenger who can't lower his voice on the phone just behind me-that's plain irritating. at Kemaman, we went to Fatin's house. actually we're the last batch of the visitors at her place. she's been entertaining our friends coming to her house for a few days straight. her mom must have been confused as to who has come and gone. Here, it was my first time eating Pais and Terengganu-style Otak-otak, they spell it Otok-otok though. such a good feeling to eat it while being caressed by the breeze at the beach. if only we have a university located near the beach among our selections. it's really nice~

Last Day
Back to KL
my bus returning to KL departed near afternoon. thank goodness, it only takes about 5-6 hours from Kemaman. i brought along Keropok Lekor-i wished i've brought more, it's simply not enough. so, upon arrival, i immediately stored my bag at the bag counter (such fortunate thing i got spare money coz my wallet in entirely empty) and headed straight to the book fair at PWTC next to the station. quite relieved it's a weekday, i just hate over-crowded places, it's suffocating. withdrew my money and spent it all! okay, i lied, i did have the remaining RM7 on my way back. yes, books are dangerous, for my pocket. i bought 3 leisure reads-comics, 2 Terry Pratchetts' novel, 3 back-issue magazine(dunno why but Popular Science is so hard to find among those bulk), one non-fiction novel-a malay one(wow!) and self-stick book cover. wanna buy more but i'm financially restricted.

i've overspent this whole month.

And a few days after that(today)
completely engrossed in flumpool.. shiawase~~

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

koe kareru made

(this post is done yesterday where i slept midway while typing it, so funny to just sleep like that even the notebook laid together with me on the bed :P)

haven't properly slept for more than 24 hours now (2 minutes wink not included)

my eyes droopy, my leg joint wears out

today's a tiring one, yet a enjoyable one~

and i could sing all i could, yeah, a revenge from last week!

well, my throat went to its limit, my voice gone hoarse, but it all felt just soo goood

and i got to sing flumpool!!a few of their songs which i already had it at the tip of my tongue. and also the song i like most from weaver-白朝夢, i always would like to sing that out loud

and lots of others too, and i'm getting better and getting used to the orders of hiragana characters, it's not that hard actually, just like how you first trying to remember the order of the alphabets

even so, i can't imagine how people could do a singing marathon, they must have trained the throats well. unlike me, who just force all out even for a single song (this kinda reminds me of some flumpool interview). after a couple hours, i could feel my voice dying out. thank goodness the drink we had was tea instead of some sweet beverage. oh, and that japanese icecream is tasty too, i wonder how that one costs, hahaha. well the yakisoba a.k.a mi goreng which smells a lot of those perencah alone costs rm15.

and we kept on singing our heart out....

definitely going to give it a go again, let's go, YUME KUKAN (this is the name of that premise, quite a nice one, at least it has what i seek for, it's run by some nihonjin)

anyway, the song i've been working on last night wasn't available in the list though. well, last night i went again testing my comprehension in nihongo, in none other but my favorite flumpool's lyrics. oh, i can't stop this sheer infatuation no more. ryuuta really is someone who has his amazing way with words, it kept me wondering what he really wants to convey, like the one i just did here-song title: Hydrangea. really wish my nihongo proficiency is already excellent by now. talking abt proficiency, our jlpt result already out, kono mama jaa, seems like this year lvl1 will be tough.......

Friday, March 12, 2010

feel like my money been cheated off

well, not exactly so, but in sense, yes. i was such a bloody fool for not giving it a full thought b4 draining my money away.

and on top of it, it's not even a thing i can enjoy. nor it for a charity.

it was some sort of supposed-to-benefit-you-in-time-you-need-it. of course the chances are hardly there!

i'm generally weak when someone urges me and pushes me where eventually i'll just give in to whatever they're leading me to. and now, someone i don't even know made me 'invest' for whatever i doubt will become of use. so, it's just plain waste. feel like some kind of character in drama where their money been swindled off.

and a lump sum of it.

i'm a fool, ain't i??

now, more than i hate that stranger who led me to that particular cause, i'm hating myself. fool, fool, fool, fool!

arrrghh. and this is money we're talking about.

some may say they're just paper scraps, but it's not something you can just throw away foolishly. even burning those are useful as a source of fuel when you are out freezing.

anyway, before that regretful act i did, i'm pretty satisfied with another purchase of the rest of my "maou:juvenile remix" collection. now, i've cleaned that manga series off the racks of kinokinuya. it only took me a week to completely buying it all when i initially thought i'll buy it gradually, perhaps only 2 volumes per month. alas, i already posessed the whole set by now. manga is dangerous.... or more generally bookstore are dangerous! hahaha, i spent more of those 'scrap papers' of mine in bookstores rather than on clothes or shoes or whatever normally girls would be crazy of.

holiday sure exhausts money out of you.....

oh, and today, after somewhat a decade, i tried entering exploring petrosains again! okay, a trip alone sure is not as interesting, nevertheless i enjoyed quite a lot of it. i can get engrossed for so many hours....

Thursday, March 11, 2010

two thirds done

that pretty much means only a year left to be endured. well i ain't going to say the past 2 years passed in a blink, we did quite a lot of things, so much memories carved (gosh, i sound like everything's already over). but yes, time does fly even when we realize it not.

going on to the latest news, umm, the last final exam result is already out. okay, like i've said before, expectations are bound not be met. and this time, i pretty much messed up. i'm sorry to myself.

gjvinof;blidskagm;rld (i don't want to really remember about it)

and back to the previous two days, it was our senpai graduation dinner. oh, today's their graduation day. congratz!!! finally they can advance on straight to nihon! i'm wishing best of luck to all of them, okay luck might not sound right, i wish they will always be in Allah's bless. and everyone did dress up to the max that night. as if it was some sort of fashion gala in some sense. well, the teachers were not losing to their own cute lil students too. (photos currently not available)

i'll miss them, these wonderful teachers....

but i still think, in term of menu i prefer last year's lunch(here's link for that last year's post and u'll know why). hahaha. and for the entertainment, all the dance practices they have done were really worth it. otsukaresamadesu~~ it's entirely entertaining. and the graduating senpai's poem recital is kinda heart rending too. and this year too, the matric students did a bit of play like we did last year when we were matric students (dun wanna comment further coz i would be biased :P). following that, band performances like usual and some karaoke-like performance. and that was pretty much it.

so, in all these graduations mood, while i do feel envy for my senpai and a few of friends of mine in other programs (for the obvious reason, they are now ready off to nihon), there are some other graduating bunch who aroused far extreme envy in me. earlier when i described how our grad party goes, that was it, but these bunch of lucky kids got a far better deal. might be trivial for others, but a big deal for me if my favourite band is coming and to perform live. if only they (who else, flumpool! yeah this is a story which only happen in nihon) would come on my graduation day, i will be so very blissed~~!!! those high school kids are so lucky! if i were to remember how it was like during my high graduation, it was so damn boring, just to wait each of 300++ students to come up the stage and those long-winded speech by whoever concerned. and to add, our robe was really not what we would be proud of to show-off to anyone.

ok, only one more year.... while there's no way flumpool would come all the way to my graduation, their songs are still my favourites. and the following is a song which they performed during their budokan live last october. funny when i discovered there's some snail story involved :P


thirsty カラカラの砂漠に生まれついたマイマイ

ただ殻の中 流れ雲眺めた毎日

左右でstep by step and give up
いつだって 今だって

parallel my mind, parallel my mind


一口サイズに カットして

フラフラの足 踏んばったまま

でも モノクロの月の向こうに
さよならのキヲク抱えて 駆け抜けて

parallel my mind, parallel my mind
立ちはだかる 砂漠の荒野へ

i have no idea what 'parallel my mind' means though :P

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


i guess i would never step in RED BOX again...

they really fail in organizing the songs that 'I' want to sing. that was so hard just to find any song that i know of.

but still, it was fun, going karaoke for the first time in my life. it was barely 2-3 hours but my throat do takes the toll. it's really relieving to shout out loud, and no one bothers with that. well, if they do, what would the money i paid worth for, right??

so, thanks my buddies!!! definitely we're going again next time to a far better place where i CAN sing what i know and WANT to. flumpool is mandatory XP

nevertheless, aside from karaoke, i did drain my money to clothes (i'm sooo delighted~) as well as manga, like i had expected though i've tried to hold myself from buying more. lest, i did. shopping really makes one happy!!

and on my journey home, i was surprised by a hot burning news. i mean, truly burning. a house of my friend was caught on fire!! truly unbelievable! i never ever once thought such an incident could happen. and even sadder that the loss due to the fire included a few phones (the high-end ones) and brand-new notebook~ they really have my sympathy.

and more news:

yea, it seems on March 14th(that's only few days away), they gonna release their artist book-a thing i would of course sought for!! i want this soo bad, anyone generous enough?? pleeaaaassseeee *winking puppy eyes*

Monday, March 8, 2010





とにかく、ある先輩に感謝です~買ってくれて、 ありがとう!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

guuzen to ka hitsuzen

it was a blessing in disguise

when i was already exhausted of being in inactivity for more than a week, i at last took a fresh air outside, away from my house to where my friends were supposed to be waiting. i just can't help from being a bit excited when they said they were going karaoke. yeah, though it was a long haul from my house, can you believe it, 20 stations? and one transit where the waiting is just as one could expect from ktm.

well, finally i arrived after all. without knowing it was somehow cancelled.

to window shop on your own is just as interesting. ok, not really, if you don't know what to window shop. but still, subway's as delicious as i remembered it. to any hungry stomach, it undeniably is. so, i just walk around,and around, and around with no aim in mind, and i got bored. so, on the way back home, i guess, why don't i take a detour to kl? kinokuniya always is a nice place (aside from the fact it's located at the crowded klcc). and on the way, i managed to stop by a cd shop and bought 3 dvd- i wish they have those in pirate dvd, it won't hurt my wallet as much.

no fail, klcc is crowded despite it was a weekday. but then, i just find my cove and what a heaven to feed my obsession. ok, this time, no flumpool (i've already bought that magazine they have on rack). and i browse around for others that might catch my interest. and i remembered isaka koutarou.

what an astonishment when i recently knew he not only has his works done as movies (he's a novelist, and oh, some of the movies were mentioned in my previous posts, they're great ones), there are also manga!! and what makes me happier than to find those on the kinokuniya's rack. okay, i did make a teeny effort to read those magz i've bought so far but it's just too texty. and kanji bakkari, maa, soon i'll be able to stride thru those smoothly i guess. but now, manga seems more like a greater deal. and to top it off, this one that just caught my interest-"maou:juvenile remix" is a shounen-manga, means there are furigana for like every kanji. hahaha. somehow, i love to be spoiled. well, of course they come with a cost especially when my hands resisted to not take only one, but two of them.

what happened afterward did caught me by surprise. true, i knew some of my friends are here, but i don't expect to run into them (klcc's big, man). and of coz, i don't expect i would even spend my evening till late with them there, and to have such a marvellous dinner together with our dear sensei. it was wonderful. i might have gone to klcc numerous times just to hang out, but i never set foot in those restaurants it's mushroomed with. so hard to be on budget all the time. but then, the dinner we had last night was fantastic, not even a full course but a memorable one. 1st, coz it was also as celebration for our bday boy yesterday, raziz! we had cake and delicious food. of coz it's good! it must be for how much the price it's worth. and we talked, and chatted and had fun. truly fun. i think we were the noisiest party in the whole restaurant, sorry about that, but we can't help but to laugh every now and then. and it's fun to teases our bday boy when he's nearly in tears. well, no more crybaby now he's twenty. and also to kuga-sensei whom we at least want to give present to before our farewell, she's really an interesting teacher i would remember for lifetime. i'll miss her.

my legs all sore from a day worth of walking but my heart is so full of relish.

and to check my cimb account, i have 5 transactions during yesterday alone. shopping is relieving!

and i am in dilemma, i definitely want the rest of volume for the manga i bought yesterday, but then, it'll definitely cause a financial worry on the other side. to add,  my dvd tht's due to come soon also requires money. aaaahh,

Monday, March 1, 2010

negative tone again?

part of being human : we always get frustrated more often than we do not

but it seems, everything just fails me at the moment, all i got in my mind just shattered to pieces, everything's not working out as i want it to

okay, i still dangle on the hope of the result that would be out next week would turn out well to console myself now


ok, rather than spouting out the normal question -"just why???", just HOW can i get out of this?? it's so sad it's pathetic

i'm sorry to myself, and also to how uncouth my writings do sound.

p/s: i just don't like doing house chores, and also cooking, and especially hate the mouse/rat that are ratting my house, they freak me out!

can't wait for the dvd to reach my hand~ one of the things left to please me at the moment