Tuesday, November 17, 2009

a new injection of motivation? or dream?

quite surprising, today i managed to make myself engrossed in doing some studying during the late hour of night..

well, that was after hours of slumber on bed and i found myself waking up in confusion in the middle of the night as the result.

perhaps, this might be triggered by a line blurted out by my sensei during yesterday's class. honestly, i was stunned when he pointed out we merely have a year left before facing the big interview - for entering university in nihon (our senpai are having theirs this weekend). oh my, a sudden jolt ran to my spine.

i know, with the way i am now, dame dayone

thanks sensei for reminding the ignorant me which i'm sure would remain oblivious be there is no stimulus from the outside. the danger of being in constant complacency.

however, today, when i studied, i realize i've far too much far behind despite having gone through half of the semester by now. obeying the law of nature, a brain that lacks exercise would gradually become lazy. that's what happens to mine. and what more, i tend to take everything in such a complicated way when actually it is not. how stupid i find myself when i struggled to find the answer to one of my homeworks, i had to flip through pages and pages of the thick reference book, wasting so much time only to find out later that the question only goes back or more specifically solely uses the basic formula there is.

sorry suwa-sensei, i slept so much during your class.

so then, when i took the whole night just to do 3 questions on mechanics of material (which i only realized i got them as my homework only on the previous day), my plan to finish my report together, crumbles. hahaha, and this self could not be satisfied unless she does a proper one, that is with adequate informations in completing the reports. but then, i was envied by time who is now angry as to just why did i waste them by idling away before.

deadlines = depressing.

so, let's go on about dreams (wow, such a fast change in topic)

recently i've been getting dreams that i could remember more or less. this is quite rare coz i tend to completely forgot them when i am awake leaving only vague memories of the insignificant pieces of those dreams. but then, i guess this bombardment of dreams might be because that i forgot to read my du'a before i sleep. my bad. but then, it was funny how my current state of mind when going to sleep affects the dreams i have. hohoho, certainly it is nice remembering a dream where i met kazuki and ryuuta.... (coz that was a dream, we were chatting like usual like old friends, and the funniest thing was it was in malay XP)

oh, maybe it's the waku-waku nihongo day effect, the dream i had when i slept after the event ended the other day was fully in nihongo XD

this post has winded way too long i guess, but still, i feel like there's so much more. well, i think i'll spare that for another day...........

p/s: i really felt the absence of my camera. i really2 do want to take pictures when we had all those fun.

gosh, when i recheck this post again, so much mistakes.... certainly it's not a good idea to blog in early morning while others are preparing for school

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