i remembered somewhere in textbooks during my high school years, the number 19 an important number for certain people.. i guess it was something to do with 'ajaran sesat'
i guess my memories are still not that bad
considering i'm still 19
but it all felt so instantaneous...
oh yea, it's already the end of november, is mostly what i could think of now
being such a pathetic pessimist for a moment, i'm jittery for the exam is drawing near
anyway, thanks for the lot who made me happy today, i love you all!! and for the others too, i love you too! certainly it's like seiji once said in his blog "人間が産まれた日、自分で望んで産まれて来たのか、ただの運命のなのかはわからないけ
ど、命が誕生した日を祝うのは素晴らしい事だと思う。"
urm, my flumpool love is still far from ceasing :D
and now, presenting a quite explicit video :P but intentionally put here for the title really match the prominence of the moment
sorry to whoever likes to lurk at this unworthwhile dump of thoughts of mine (if only there is any)
well, this blog lives for its namesake, which is also an acronym for my own name (if anyone ever realize). it's all in the mind. the shell of which a neurotic for some eyes. but then, the perspective is different for different eyes, so anyone's definition of neurotic might vary from the others.
like anyone cares...
so, what runs in the mind of this very neurotic is currently an overwhelming envy.
yes, ENVY.
if i were to refer to a religion's belief, they accede it as one of the biggest sins or more famously called one of the deadly sins. in islam itself, it's one of the mazmumah thing you should do your best to avoid from.
but then, it has grown big and has taken quite a stronghold inside here.
envy comes from many sources. it makes you feel inferior to the others, it makes you feel why is life being unfair (despite it's you yourself who lacks the effort), it makes you hate yourself even more, it makes yourself far even more neurotic.
neu·rot·ic
Of, relating to, or affected with a neurosis. No longer in scientific use.
Informal Overanxious: neurotic about punctuality.
n.
A person suffering from a neurosis. No longer in scientific use.
Informal A person prone to excessive anxiety and emotional upset.
and in this world where almost everything revolves around 'I', this inevitable envy roots deeper and flourish hyperactively whenever this tiny self is compared to the ever more beautiful surroundings.
and even the thing i'm most infatuated in at the moment is my main source of envy.
yeah, they're so adorable, so capable, so unforgettable.
unlike this insignificant existence.
honestly, the more i adore them, the more i envy them.
the more i envy them, the more i ...............
i envy them for myself lacking what i observe they are rich in
they're completely in love with what they are doing while i hardly am so
they're soaring high with such lively eyes and smile filled with sincere joys
or, is it this pair of eyes that are only being fooled?
there's no way it is all joy to what the others are having (at least that's what i'd like to think)
it's yet time for me, kanaa....
however, i can't stop getting myself deeper into this insatiable obsession. yappari, they're one bunch of guys i can't refrain from excessively adoring as well as ENVYING.
the person who took the hassle of ripping this from the radio and let people like me listening to it at the ever glued-to youtube certainly has my gratitude.
so please iman, don't lose to this emotion. make those surreal thingy straight into your own very hands instead of getting fussy sitting by the window just to do constant gazing. enough with all these sighs. chase the moment where u feel good being yourself, and take pride in whatever you're doing. (this sounds familiar somehow)
and that is
by not lazing around like this!! get your neurons bolting, ur ass moving!! defeat that lax self!! be more responsible and take on the challenge!!!! (once in a while, serious scolding by the inner self is needed)
whilst hoping for more improvisation in my current attitude, it just deteriorates more
please iman, do what you're supposed to!
-still intoxicated in flumpool love-
btw, happy eid to all the ones celebrating it.. (though i hardly felt in the mood due to excessive sleep)
and urmm, i can't deny the frustrations from recently still lurk inside here and more stuff just pile on this agony.... somehow i think i should put this melancholy to a cease or else..... (got a feeling i'm just translating this expression from nihongo, reminding me of the JLPT test we're going to sit next sunday..... should i be bothered?)
so, even though i can't escape the fact that i've made this choice of walking down this rocky road, it all depends on how we see them in our head right?
so, when your mind and body are near exhaustion and total lethargy, pause, and see the beautiful things around you.
but still, here i am, glued to my notebook, straight after returning home
i'm loving you, my notebook
oh, so what i was actually trying to post today is just to express how ecstatic and contented i am today...
amidst the scurries and scuttles of having to study for this coming week's tests and completing the reports and all
certainly, i was in no circumstance to be hanging around while all the works remains untouched (okay, i did touch and took a peek, but only a bit) but then, i could hardly regret going out today
except the money matter, maa ii ka
hontouni tanoshikatta arigatou izzati-chan, ryouta-kun, hirai-kun!! (and also the other TAs who was together at Times Square today until the point where we entered cosmo's world)
hora, kowai to ittemo, dekitayone.......
yousuruni, TANOSHIKATTA~~~~!!!!
this made me remember the exhilaration i had when i went to genting last year
today was pretty close to that one
the only thing that was quite regrettable is the fact that i don't have a camera to capture those memorable moments
seeing their faces while taking those rides was priceless~~~
and the meal we had at the end of the day was quite satisfying too (money matters aside)
jaa, korekara, motto ganbareru ki ga suru
list to clear : jouhou shori test zairyou rikigaku test, nihongo test, butsuri jikken report, nihongo happyou slide (i forgot about this), and some more..... tomorrow's gamelan class mo ganbaru!!
again, ありがとう！！！！！！！！！！！！
looked like this eventually ended up long................
ohh, it was quite, nothing actually. honestly, i hardly felt a thing along the process.
but then, after school when we had futsal, i got tired real fast though it haven't even passed one session of a game - a mere 5 minutes for each of them. to an extent i felt like collapsing on the spot.
luckily, i didn't.
especially when i remembered the numbers on the weighing scale upon the earlier process for blood donation.
umm, we got free juice, and biscuits. and a red book. never thought u would get medical privileges by donating own blood. if u wanna know what's that, get ur own red book.
"kita derma darah, tujuan cuma 1. dpt air kotak free!! nawaitu kena betul!! -a line of a joke from my friend
and today, i guess sleeping this late again gradually makes me a nocturnal creature.
hohhoho
and tomorrow, we had another experiment to conduct. apparently there would be observers too from higher ups. hope everything just go smoothly as usual. but i guess such hands-on activity won't make me sleepy as much.
urm, and the reason i'm staying up this late? completing the report that is due before this next experiment starts.
yatta!!!! (finally after hours of being glued to this notebook, i'm done, the fact is that i just started most of it only today)
oh, and tomorrow would also be our actual meeting with our sensei for enkaku jugyou(long-distance class)-forgot the subject's name XD. but then, i wonder how can i make use of this golden chance when i do not even understand the whole thing?? telecomunication technology and its wonders.... well, this one hasn't made me dread it as much as C language though. taking my hats off to those computer experts who find all these thing extremely easy to comprehend. just how did those hackers find it enjoyable??
quite surprising, today i managed to make myself engrossed in doing some studying during the late hour of night..
well, that was after hours of slumber on bed and i found myself waking up in confusion in the middle of the night as the result.
perhaps, this might be triggered by a line blurted out by my sensei during yesterday's class. honestly, i was stunned when he pointed out we merely have a year left before facing the big interview - for entering university in nihon (our senpai are having theirs this weekend). oh my, a sudden jolt ran to my spine.
i know, with the way i am now, dame dayone
thanks sensei for reminding the ignorant me which i'm sure would remain oblivious be there is no stimulus from the outside. the danger of being in constant complacency.
however, today, when i studied, i realize i've far too much far behind despite having gone through half of the semester by now. obeying the law of nature, a brain that lacks exercise would gradually become lazy. that's what happens to mine. and what more, i tend to take everything in such a complicated way when actually it is not. how stupid i find myself when i struggled to find the answer to one of my homeworks, i had to flip through pages and pages of the thick reference book, wasting so much time only to find out later that the question only goes back or more specifically solely uses the basic formula there is.
sorry suwa-sensei, i slept so much during your class.
so then, when i took the whole night just to do 3 questions on mechanics of material (which i only realized i got them as my homework only on the previous day), my plan to finish my report together, crumbles. hahaha, and this self could not be satisfied unless she does a proper one, that is with adequate informations in completing the reports. but then, i was envied by time who is now angry as to just why did i waste them by idling away before.
deadlines = depressing.
so, let's go on about dreams (wow, such a fast change in topic)
recently i've been getting dreams that i could remember more or less. this is quite rare coz i tend to completely forgot them when i am awake leaving only vague memories of the insignificant pieces of those dreams. but then, i guess this bombardment of dreams might be because that i forgot to read my du'a before i sleep. my bad. but then, it was funny how my current state of mind when going to sleep affects the dreams i have. hohoho, certainly it is nice remembering a dream where i met kazuki and ryuuta.... (coz that was a dream, we were chatting like usual like old friends, and the funniest thing was it was in malay XP)
oh, maybe it's the waku-waku nihongo day effect, the dream i had when i slept after the event ended the other day was fully in nihongo XD
this post has winded way too long i guess, but still, i feel like there's so much more. well, i think i'll spare that for another day...........
p/s: i really felt the absence of my camera. i really2 do want to take pictures when we had all those fun.
gosh, when i recheck this post again, so much mistakes.... certainly it's not a good idea to blog in early morning while others are preparing for school
our kitchen's now back into action!! this was taken at the beginning of the week. truly, we love milk and all. today only 2 of those left at our drinks parlour
oh yeah!! believe it or not, 2 fishes at rm 2.90!!
but, above all, what makes me grinning all day would be because of the following..
it has finally arrived today!!!!!!! looks delicious though, i mean it, it has the exact same hue as the real deal... oh my, i'm afraid i'm going to bite it for real mistaking it to be a big bar of cadbury's dairy milk XP
definitely, this would hardly be a regrettable choice that i've ever made. it has not any sign of failing me in any way. the contents are exactly what i need, and its features certainly has not yet stopped to amaze me. i'm loving it............ so, kyou kara yaruki manman de benkyoushiyou!!!!!!!!!
p/s: today's 'enkaku' class really was complicated though. even in such happiness, i still couldn't escape falling asleep when facing such a confusing contents. please, let me understand it in any way, i'm really troubled if this continues
2 weeks ago we did quite an interesting experiment during chemistry lab class. we even used up all the time slotted for lab time.
and 14 days following that is the deadline for the very report.
certainly, being chased by the report in not a pleasant thing.
i'd rather read 2 weeks worth of kazuki's blog than a page of article concerning the topic of experiment. obviously, kazuki writes funny stuff while the latter certainly is not. and what more, being pelted by so much kanji i barely could read all the way are more than enough to make me turn my head away.
but still, the haunting deadline is coming to a close in any moment.
やるしかないなぁ
but, in the middle of searching for info for completing my report, the use of internet really made my eyes opened. now, i treasure the existence of wikipedia, i salute to whoever found the whole idea of creating it. or internet generally. thanks to it, i found all the needed stuff just by the clicks from my fingers. (lots of clicks)
and also lots of other random stuff. owing to my own curiosity.
love teh tarik and milo? it's certainly incomplete without the F&N assisting it rite? do u know that mostly those are just mere palm oil subtituting the milk squeezed from the cow? that's why u can only see 'sweetened creamer' stamped on the cans instead of 'sweetened milk'. malaysia with its wealth of palm oil..... well, they've even managed to make mozarella out of palm oil. the what and whys here and lil bit here
after cathode ray tube certainly has passed its time, lately, there was a heat of plasma tv, and followed by LCD tv. well none of both are in my posession though. but now, the latest 'in' thing is probably LED tv. after some research i'm quite confused with the usage of this two terms but generally there are those which backlight are of ccfl (do i get this rite?) and the later generation are backlighted by LED, much lower in power consumption i believe. so the new hot stuff is now how thin the tv those manufacturers are competing each other. imagine if u got 47-inch rectangle stuck to the wall like some poster but then there goes all your favourite movies to your eyes. samsung has widely marketed its recent finger-slim series (i love how they name it). well, if you visit the electrical appliances store, u can see it stand majestically as arrogant as its price :P but then, LG just announced its latest product in Korea named EyeQ. with only 23.3mm thickness, what makes it a thing to sought for is it remote control modeled after the Wii remote control. Rotating, shaking or wavy you can control your TV.
but certainly, one will go outdo the others. though no specific release date is stated but samsung has announced a new series will be following the predecent 'fingerslim' with another catchy name such as 'needleslim'-certainly way thinner than your own breakfast bread slice at just 3mm. what's that?? info taken from here
anyway, last saturday was really exciting though i was tied on bed for more than 10 hours after that
and gamelan was actually not so bad, but still, to consider to perform during senpai's convo might be a lil of a burden
what kind of post is this? i'm just spouting random things here
ummm, actually i thought of writing down my fandom, which had been kinda intense lately
but then, it would b awkward here... i guess it's enough to limit that to the people around me to be annoyed by that obssesion of mine, sorry.
so, what might be good? here i got some useful tips especially if it were to be fully adopted by a student aiming to be the best in what he/she is doing (that includes me). [taken from the blog of a wonderful friend of mine]
Make sure that you get at least 85% or more from every lecture. To do this, you need a very sharp mind (from a good sleep), good notes, and critical thinking.
Review the notes everyday for the course that meets that day meaning if Chemistry meets on Monday, you need to review Chemistry note before Monday ends). If something is not making sense, make a note, and ask the professor the next day.
Prioritize daily – make sure you list down five things that you need to accomplish everyday, from the most important to the least important.
Before you go to sleep, do a quick evaluation of the day.
And, of course, make tons of du’a to Allah.
jaa, minna ganbarou!!!
p/s: i'm having quite a BIG problem to be awake during the last lecture every tuesday... anyone, help?
a life-size self photo frame?