楽しくて、悲しくて、嬉しくて。後は何？

今、本当に疲れた

今日、UNISELのGrandHallで一日中ロボコンの大会があって、みんなとよく頑張っていた。15週間後、やっとロボットをでき、battlegroundで戦った。私のグループのロボットは今日いい子だったね。私は試合の前に、本当に緊張したけど。

この'無敵所軍'は５回勝った、１回しか負けない。よかったね。でも、ちょっと残念なことはあのつかむ部分はなかなか使えなかった。私たちの作戦は変更して、箱を重ねる計画に代わりに、ボールだけ集めた。しかし、最後の試合はイズミルさんのチームに会い、負けるはずと思った。やっぱり負けたけど、点の差は２点にすぎない。とても残念だった。

負けたのは悔しいんだけど、今まで本当に楽しかった。うちのチームの無限８-Ⅹ、ばんざい！！！イクワンさんとサリナさんと大越先生、楽しい時間に、ありがとう。ああ、苦しい時間もあったね。

負けたら、ほかの試合を見た、すごい！私たちより、レベルが違うも言えるよ。あの人たちはいったいどうやってそんなすごいロボットを作れたんだろうね。つまり、今日は本当に楽しかったです～。ありがとうみんな。とにかく、大会の後、４人のTAさんと写真をとった。ほかのTAたちはどこへ行ったかなぁ。

先生も楽しかったね。えっと、先生のTシャツは黒くて素敵ね、わたしたちのより。ね？

実は、写真はもっとたくさんあるし、話したいことももまだあるけど、今、疲れたよ。

それでは、またね。

さっき、flumpoolの新しい歌を聞けるので、すごく嬉しかった。

便利だな～

昨日、私の電子辞書はまた落ちてしまった。また、石松先生は治してくれた、ありがとう。


でも、今日、突然、この大切な電子辞書は変になって、なかなか使えなくなった。とても悲しかった。まだ一年使っていたのにもう壊れた。新しいのはお金をかかって、いやだ。


もう時間かなあ

それで、今日フランプールのブログを読むときは電子辞書を使わなかった。むりでしょう？いいえ、電子辞書に代わって、http://www.yakugo.com/を使った。とても便利になった。何か言葉を分からないとき、早く調べられるよ。本当によかった。でも、あとで、べんきょうのとき、それをつかわなきゃ？パソコンを使う時間を減らしたいけど。。。

もういい。

さっき、ルーリアさんとお菓子を作った。本当に楽しかった。

KUIH　BATIK　

さあ、明日から、4連休です～～！楽しみしているけど、明日、ちょっと学校へ行かなきゃ。その後、うちに帰る。ごろごろしたりドラマを見たりしたいけど、レポートがまだやらない。大変だ。さらに、私権もしかづいてるから、勉強しないと。ああ。じゃあ、休みでもがんばります。

来週はロボコンです～！後なのかだけど、私のグループのロボットはまだ完成しない。困っているよ。問題ばかりで、長い時間があっても、なかなかできなかった。大丈夫、大丈夫、あの日まで、がんばってね～

これはまだまだです

一番問題がいっぱいあるつかむ部分だ

それじゃあ、これからも一生懸命頑張ります～

とにかく、面白い友達のブログを読んだ:　http://naya288.blogspot.com/2009/01/letter-from-christian-to-muslim-women.html

日本語はまだまだだから、間違いはたくさんあるはずで、ちょっと混乱になったら、本当にすみませんね。これからも、よろしくお願いします～

mou shippaishita

defeeat in just less than 2 days.



i'm already face to face with my beloved notebook.



uuuuuuu







just that it was to avoid me from sleeping after asar and it resulted to this


a bit pleased though to get to read what i wanted. oh, and only today i knew the word たくさん has kanji. well, it made me wondering too when reading it all these time .

and unexpectedly, a new release of kuroshitsuji was out. yappari, sebastian is as charming as ever.



to what happened in gaza, hope there'll be better progress. they've received too much damage and too much lives lost. however, as i read some news about those who syaheed, "oh, how beautiful is that" was what ran through my mind. i also have this little hope so that my death would be as a syaheed too.... amin~

alhamdulillah

there're a lot of things i'm grateful of today:

• i managed to fast today, i woke up early and had the chance to have my sahur. alhamdulillah
• i could see the whole form of our robot, alhamdulillah
• i had a great fun and laughter during english class today, thanks to my entertaining friends, alhamdulillah
• i got a hold of a camera and got to take many pictures, alhamdulillah
• i got to read my favourite band's blog and actually understood it, alhamdulillah
• for my iftar, i had a nice 1901's hotdog, alhamdulillah
• i was tired after school but the sleep refreshed me a bit, alhamdulillah
• so far, i managed to keep my hands off my notebook, alhamdulillah
• i ate tasty gardenia's butterscotch bread, i mean, it's really really tasty. alhamdulillah

well, a lot happened

even little things can make someone happy. alhamdulillah Allah has granted me this peaceful life. i really wish my brothers ad sisters over there could gain peace again and could enjoy happiness just like how i do. please let them be safe with their beloved family and friends. ya Allah, please bless those countless souls that had perished in fighting in your path. amin~

as for tonite, we had chemistry session. a time to revise back all what we learnt in chemistry which mostly i slept in. alhamdulillah, our batch made an effort to help all of us, to help people like me. i love them.

じゃ、みんな、がんばって！！一緒に日本に行こう～～！

btw, there's a few of articles that i read today and greatly caught my attention, again with the issue of palestine, we should know more, let ourselves out of sea of ignorance. open our eyes!

http://almuhandisi.wordpress.com/
http://palestinkini.info/?p=3083#more-3083 <--- we might also be like hitler, a person that generalizes other people.... who knows.

now, that's it

for the whole day, i managed to waste it for near nothing

should i ban myself from this comp?

i really want to be serious now.

please<--i'm begging to myself here

or else i'll be jeopardizing my life, that is if i flung for this coming exam-30 days away, not only me who would be in despair.

ok, from here on, i'm hoping to take a break from this time-consuming net using thingy

....but there's something i want to read every each day, it can improve my nihongo no?

and also, i haven't started on my PAI assignment. i need to use winword.

OKAY!

declaration of an undetermined hiatus. by no means am i allowed to waste time on my notebook at least until i'm done with the exam.

or so i hope it to be

ya allah the mighty, grant me strength, grant me power to fight with this my own bad side. please don't let those satan's ceaseless whispers sway me away from what i am supposed to do. please grant me a strong will to resist any temptations that appear before me. and also patience in enduring the difficulties and hardships in pursuing my goal. please grant me a heart that's consistent in giving out the efforts in order to reach where i want to be. only to you can i ask.

for my suffering and tormented brothers and sisters around the world, please save them. they also want to live as much as i do. they want to see this holy religion to stand up right more than anyone, that's why they fight. please bless their effort, and give them relief in this time of distress. send them help and let them retrieve what has always been rightfully theirs.bless their souls that had perished.

passion from the past

before, i used to like, not just like, it's an immense enthuasism towards history stuffs. i mean, i really attracted to know history, it just seemed so fascinating to know what had happened in the past, it's like reading a novel. in short, i enjoy it when i got my hands on some books by oh my, i forgot now, but it tells the story of parameswara, tun perak and so on. however, when i entered high school, somehow the enjoyment faded. i used to only read them but never i was to remember every details and to spill it on the white paper of what we call examination sheet. afterwards, i find it hard to actually feel the attachment to history nor understood the reason the need for it. ok, one passion killed.


to another matter, since a child, i was a lover of animals. i love them, i find them adorable. ok, specifically animals that are pets. i used to own a lots of cats at home, though not mine solefully nor did i took the full responsibility in raising them. but, i love them. i got interested to know more about animals and once, i borrowed a book from a close acquaintance of my parents about mammals. a thick book. i used to leaf through the book all over, the pictures so beautiful. at that time, i find it hard to read such intricate details of each one of them. but at least, i got a clue of how the taxonomy of mammal is with their abundance of species to organize from. i got to know how marsupials is a group of its own with their distinctive traits distinguishing it from the others. how primates comprise of a very large family including one named siamang which actually inhabit malaysia's forests but never had i saw one-i live in urban areas anyway. how dolphin and whales actually have warm-blooded as us. okay, humans are warm-blooded but never we are mammals. points to note, warm-blooded means the temperature of the body doesn't fluctuate as much for it has its narrow stable range. but now, do i even bother with them?

recently, there is a kitten at our residence and i just can't stop myself from taking it in my arms and stroke it. it was white with some dark brown spots. a bit like siamese cat. thankfully, it was not dirty compared to any stray cats i won't bother to come near. it's a kitten that is in its playful stage, so i didn't get to hold it for long. at least, by that time, my irritation at the moment decreased. stroking fur just giving you a good feeling somehow.
and today, i saw some photos which really intrigued me. i just love to see beautiful pictures. it just makes my heart in a bit of happiness. even as i child, i had this mounting interest in that enchanting world. my dad had always had a camera-he himself is a photography enthusiast. perhaps, i just got the influence from him. however, i admit so far, i never made a serious effort to make this one passion of mine a serious thing in my life. i do have the strong desire to take such stunning pictures just like those that always amaze me. i badly yearn for a camera all these time, but once, i got hold of one but my carelessness made it unfunctional after some time. and i hardly get chance to get another thereafter though i did for a while but i found it inconvenient for its size. okay, talking about being choosy. perhaps, i just dun have the drive to make some sacrifices from myself to pursue that passion. well, i never thought of forking out my own money to buy one. gosh, so dependable of other, that's what i am for all these while.

but i can't forget those clouds i always got to see during my 2yrs stay at langkawi. it always caught my breath for such a long moment, admiring such beautiful creations of god, changes as every second went past, with the effect of light that differs for every moment. the hues and all. aahhhh, now i want to take pictures.

in conclusion, passion won't go anywhere unless you have the will to keep it going, making efforts and all those uninteresting things follow all the way.

the tears

my friend once described me this way "iman, i think u can only cry during watching dorama. when is the other time do u actually cry?"

today, i could not stop the tears. they just flowed. oh, i did not watch dorama.

ever since i got the wake-up call following the cruel attack on gaza, my input increase from day to day. i admit now sometimes, i even turn my head whenever i saw newspaper. i can't stand to see such cruelty done to my muslim brothers and sisters, automatically those cursing words would blurt out from my mouth. who wouldn't? just where do they throw away their conscience, to even kill children and women, let alone the fighters who are only endeavouring to take back what had been confiscated forcefully from them-and this is what they call terrorist?

today, i watched a palestinian girl deliver a poem. compared to numerous pictures and article i confront(gosh, i'm lost with vocab now) before, this one really and deeply moved my heart. thanks to the english subtitle available, i could understand what she's feeling. her voice resonates in my ears, portraying such sufferings i could never imagine. before she actually cried in the middle of the poem, tears trickled down my cheek first. i studied arabic back in the past and listeningto her while catching some of it makes me my heart break even more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LZpaIKLw0Y&eurl=http://palestinkini.info/&feature=player_embedded

and after that, i read an article which made the tears continued rolling down. they actually mercilessly bombed a 4yr-old child while he is playing, blocking his parents effort to save him with bullet shoots. it does not stop there. even when the child's dead, they didn't even permit the family to retrieve the lifeless body, continued to release bullet whenever anyone dared to come close. FOR 5 DAYS in which period, they let dogs to savour the child's meat until barely are left sticking to the bone. finally, the child's brother risk their life in getting what's left of their brother and lost their lives. source :http://palestinkini.info/?p=3047

so, when i knew myself is not well-informed of the situation there, the reasons, the history and the unconcealed truth behind this conflict, i tried to find as many info i could. fortunately, when i was searching my campus' library for materials of my assignment, i came across a book revolving on the issue. "peluru lawan batu" by maszlee malik. still in the middle of reading through it and i'm glad i found it. the answers to my confusion are clearly explained here. the conflict has not just started recently, it goes way back decades ago and this is what people have to know, not to just depend on informations wrongly and falsely or just partially reported on some media hindering you to get in touch with the whole truth. in fact, i was shocked to discover someone i know giving such account that does not stand back to the complete history itself, thus believing easily on the incomplete picture of the situation. it just means that u can't wholly depend on materials in your quick reach(the media for instance-they know they have the power to influence people's belief) to understand the whole matter. if you really want to what actually happen, you have to search it by yourself, find lots of info and only then you're allowed to judge the situation.

so, please, i appeal to all of you. before you make any judgement, please thoroughly know what you are judging. don;t blindly do it as you could be unfair in doing so. i, myself is a weak person, who prefer to lead life easy but once we ignore this, by simply believing in things without researching into it, someone would suffer. yes, it's a bother to do all that, but its importance is undeniable. not just in this case, in any affair too.

forget or just ...

despite my previous post, what i did totally contradict to wht i meant to brace myself to.

i intended to cut down my expenditure and save aside as much as i could. the most important is to avoid purchasing product which could lead to my muslim sisters and brothers demises-u know what i mean. however, for the last few days, i spent much more than i usually do. up to now, i've used more than half of my scholarship for the month and it hasn;t even been 15th of january yet. oh my... finance management : failed

from now until my Final exam, only 35 days left (i guess) and i sure did not make full use of the time i got before. on top of that, now that i've found a new obsession, i would waste much of my time to feed it. hazardous happiness i could say? hahaha.... talking about my studies, my motivation fades and i no longer have the same enthuasism towards it like i had before. i wonder why? i know i had no choice but to do it, but i just don't want to do it, the interest is just barely there anymore. this seems so chronic now... now, what should i do to fix this?

just another meaningless rambles

wanna shop?

imported products just seem so good, aren;t they. but be careful, the quality might be good for you, but the rise in their sale might means someone else's demise....

mostly the above products are USA's but here we can get them too. i admit i just like some of them and a loyal customer but now...

n more of them you should know here: http://home.pacbell.net/halnet/Boycott%20Israeli%20Products%20Campaign.htm

it's true that we heavily depend on some of these but where's the harm in opting the others when you have the choice. instead of danone's bliss yoghurt drink, how about sunglo's lassi(malaysian product ma). instead of nestle's koko krunch, how about nasi lemak for breakfast?you might think this little thing won't deter them, but when it's done collectively, it might just lead a big change. so, opt for others as far as you could.

...gosh, just the day b4 yesterday i shopped at carrefour n spent almost 100 there. astaghfirullah. yea, we just forget sometimes...

so, the next time u shop, use the power of the consumer and choose. u can do nothing what had been done. it'll be stupid to throw away those you already possess because of this coz that would lead to waste-another sin commited. to compensate that, help others too to make their choice in purchasing stuff. ne? we might not have the chance to fight in the warzone, but we certainly can help to weaken the enemies, dun give them the money to buy the bombs!

where it supposed to be...

when the school reopened last monday after my cherished 2weeks holiday, slowly irritation built up inside me. school just makes you feel stressed, doesn't it? little by little i felt uneasy and unrest. everything just not right. so, to cool it down, i've thought of spending for leisure. i mean, by not refraining myself to get anything i want. it didn't take me long to do that. just for lunch alone, a spent as much as i usually spend for 2-3 meals altogether. hehehe.

then something resurfaced in my mind.

ever heard of the story of the conversation between RM1 note and RM100 note? here, i'll retell from my own memory and some plausible add-ons


RM100 : hi, long time no see. such a coincidence, we meet again.

RM1 : yeah, the first time we met was years ago.

RM100 : true, and from there. it's an adventure. i've gone to many places. i've travelled to numerous shopping complexes, famous restaurants, bars, cinemas and more. i've seen so many things as the exchange for me, elegant clothes, designer shoes, high tech devices and the even smell from the flashy bottle perfume still faintly stick on me. it was exciting. how about you?

RM1 : i'm happy too. every place i go, the person who receives me would smile. i've gone to plenty of beggars, cheerful children, and mostly i would be put into boxes in mosques or those for orphans and the poors. they are the best i guess, they made sure i'm not lost among the others.



get the story? it hit me hard too. to think how miniscule the portion i used from what Allah had granted me to help the others. i live so comfortable now but when it comes to donation, i spent so little from it. i'd rather enjoy it on things i like. so, now, my friends, it's never too late to change our attitudes. there's abundant of others who need the money more than us. the war victims greatly and desperately need them more than us. they're bleeding while we're idling and wasting what we took for granted here. hesitate not when you see boxes like this. you won't be at any loss. in fact, you'll enjoy from what you give later. if you don't believe me, at least, believe in Allah, our creator.

this box is part in the campaign "satu tabung satu keluarga" by Aman Palestin organization. i got it during a program on awareness towards palestine issue. when it is full, we can always return it to them and get a new one to continue for this cause. well, even if you do not have one such as this at home, you can always make one. use any empty box or can and make sure you fill it as frequent as you can, i mean, when you feel you have that extra money at hand. or even when u feel happy, insert some of what you have, so you can make others happy too, see, the happiness spreads. imagine how your contribution no matter how small-better if it's big, can make their suffering lessen even for a bit. when your donation could be used to buy medicines to treat dying fighters and their children. how you can make them happy to live for one more day-aided by your help that is.

mine at home is still so light. i wonder when it will actually be filled to a brim......

in addition, regarding palestine, i extracted this from others' blog. so, be cautious my brothers and sisters!

Fatwa Dr. Yusuf Qardhawi: ” 1 Rial (Ringgit) Untuk Produk AS, Sama Dengan Satu Peluru Untuk Tubuh Saudaramu di Palestine”
source: http://masturamohdyusuf.blogspot.com/2009/01/ya-allah-selamatkan-palestin.html

what can i do for now

Terkini : Zionis Israel guna fosforus putih yang diharamkan. - 07-Jan-2009
Haneyya : Kesal negara Arab masih merujuk kepada UN. - 07-Jan-2009
Terkini : 10 tentera rejim Zionis mati , 30 cedera di tangan Brigade Qassam. - 06-Jan-2009
Zionis-Israel Bakal Menerima Kejutan. - 06-Jan-2009

a wake up call
for us who are still in a loll
countless had perished
while we enjoy in lavish
drunk in joy and laughter
all they could do is to suffer
pelting bombs, splattering blood
staining their homeland of every part
so, why the hell am i idling here?
to get more aggravating news to my ears?
my brothers and sisters are fighting and dying
in the midst of this endless conflict, they are struggling,
ya Allah, grant them strength, grant them power
to fight every heartless soldiers that they encounter
let the victory be finally in their hands
as they have given their might to see all of these end
my prayers will always be by their side
may they retrieve what had forever been their right
the sacred land of palestine....


while wondering just what i can do here, to alleaviate even a lil bit of their pain, to at least care, i came upon these:

• http://iniceritakita.wordpress.com/2009/01/04/from-japan-to-palestine/
  
• "Bagi mereka yang sebaya dengan aku, belajar merupakan jihad utama yang dapat dilakukan bagi membuktikan kita 'kisah' dengan keadaan saudara kita di Palestin..Mungkin kita tak dapat untuk menyumbang secara langsung sekarang. Namun, kegigihan kita sebagai seorang pelajar bagi mendapatkan ilmu dapat dibayangkan sebagai suatu persediaan atau senjata rahsia untuk kita menyumbang pada masa hadapan." an excerpt from http://afiqjenoba.blogspot.com/2009/01/friendster.html
  
• http://palestinkini.info/?p=2815
  
• http://akuadalahakusentiasa.blogspot.com/2009/01/mari-kita-renungkan.html
  
• and also reminded by the 'tabung' from aman palestin which has been waiting to be filled on my dining table
  

minna, ganbarou~! put our hearts together!

astaghfirullah

shame on me, what an ignorant human i am.

i didn't even realize what in earth had happened on the other part on this world. what a cruel things have been done to my own brothers and sisters in islam. it tooks me days to get the news to be in my knowledge. again, what an ignorant human i am.

ya allah, save palestin. save the people of palestin. save my brothers and sisters.


......i just complained of how uncomfortable my bed is while those people do not even have bed to sleep on or even the chance to before they are put to sleep.

......i enjoyed listening to the music playing in my ears while those people are in fear threatened by the sound of bombs coming to their shelters