at the verge of .........

!%#@$^#%&^%$@&$%*^&^^&*%^&$*^#&%^$^&#$@$%&*^&%^&%^$#

okay, it's just that i don't intend to curse orally so i typed it down instead... i know cursings not good but it's like some kind of reflex made my civilised homo sapien whenever encountering a situation not in his/her favour

that's what exactly happened to me to day.

the winds are just not in my way... and the most frustrating thing is i could not blame no one....

it's excruciating when you had no one to push the blame to, it's hard to contain all inside.......

a friend of mine had given a speech noting whenever you are sad, you should try to laugh instead of crying

again, i rise this question, what if you are extremely mad, irritated and frustrated??

even if i carve a slight curve up here, the heart down here just doesn't agree....

current state of mind: unstable

ya allah, please ease this soul..........

arini

hehehe, arini, jgn perasan, the above title is not after your name, it is about TODAY...

it's unusual for me to just write in entry for the event of the one specific day, but well, today, there has been a lot that happened

QTI

WEDDING

DURIAN

may i curse a bit? it was such a ^&#$%# moment when i had to wait for more than an hour for the instructor from my driving class to pick me up this morning. if he already intended to pick me at 9, just say so, dun tell me he'll come at 8. indeed, it was true there was cases where i did make him wait for me b4, but i didn't say the wrong time, it's just me who was late and it had not even passed an hour.
moral: if u're irritated by waiting, dun make the other party wait for you instead the next time u meet with reason like payback or whatever. it'll just make the situation worse.

and more @%&#%^*& when suddenly he just decided i was to do the QTI today after all these while i haven't been practising. so as expected, of course i couldn't pass it....

and for the wedding which i attended after that, i got a feeling, somehow i feel like wedding is such a nuisance. oh man, bad me.... okay, at least i'm happy for the bride and the groom to have such a splendour event to celebrate their day. but i guess it was just too affluent to an extent where i think too many frills make it meaningless? i dunno, again, my bad here. perhaps, it's because of me who just didn't quite involved and am not lucky enough to catch on the spirit. or because of the food that didn't quite satisfy me. whatever.

i also got a feeling, if what we wear to class everyday is normal, then attire worn to wedding is nothing anymore. hahaha... well, we the girls do wear baju kurung(the showy and dandy) to class, and so the guys who wear shirts, the smart ones. the only difference is that they have tie during class, so, it's the same when going to wedding.

or, is it justt, we are really 'oshare' everyday?

oh, and finally my craving is satiated, a bit. i got to indulge in some durian, the kampung one, little flesh and big seed. ok, it's just that i love durian. so everyone, happy eating durian!

and, yeah, happy studying!!

me and internet

well, it did make me relieved when they say the termination of our internet service was cancelled

however, i guess, as much as it entertained me to the max, it affects as much on my studying part... the negative direction i mean.....

so, should i try to keep my distance?



but first of all, can i ever imagine my life void of it?? doukanaa..

source: http://xkcd.com/



btw, the following picture currently adorns my desktop background... nice isn't it? my previous 'nihon ni ikou' motivation booster japan map has become something more spirit-burning to me as these faces stare at me and say "u gotta study or u can't go to nihon to watch us live!" nantoka

misprocessing

when i look back at the past weeks, i'm at the most grumpiest on the day when there is 'information processing' class...

i can hardly describe it, but whenever i have to face that lesson, i'll be so irritated, or simply my mood goes bad... it's not because i hate the subject, it's because i'm always so lost, i hate, i abhor myself for being that way...

ok enough, if this goes on, i wonder how nasty i'll be and for goodness sake, the class already comes to its end for this term.... and i wonder how i will cram all those things i yet to understand in merely a week before sitting for the exam of this subject's paper next friday..... nantoka suru kanaa.... please, let me at least pass it.........

and tachibana-sensei, though i sleep more often than not in your class, i still love being your student. u're one of the most animated teachers i've ever had who teach with full enthuasism and energy.... sumimasenne, utoutoshitari,nechattari shite..... wish u all the best after this with your work in nihon

so, informations, will u guys be friendly with me and let me comprehend all of you more easily..... for a few days to come, my days will be intertwined with logic gates, flip-flops, counters, IC, boolean, binary, matlab(another thing which i accidentally curse a lot regarding it).........

JAD no nakama no minna-sama, isshoni ganbarou!!!!!!! kimatsu shiken no kabe wo koeyou!! nihon ni ikou!!!!!!

.......which reminds me of the university fair which will be held this friday, oh my, now i have another heavy stuff to be thought about in this brain which is already in a mess.... dareka tasukete!!!!!!!

ohisashiburi, petaling street

recently, i don't know how many times i've stepped into klcc.

but then again, today i went there. (umm, this post is first written last sunday and was suspended until now)

well, unlike usual, i'm not wandering alone. today, it was sort of like a small reunion of us, the bwps of which only half turned up. it has been a long since we had a chance like this to get together,indeed it was fun. quite a lot of stories we were stuffed with. everyone's now separated and lead our own lives, so to get an insight to each of our lives is tantalizing. like how the IB students are having such a tough time, or studying so far away at russia or being the only muslim girl in a course. in short, it was enjoyable. however, it was only for a short while. really short for a cirsumstance like these where you could reminisce the good old days other than feeding the others with the latest updates. perhaps, we only got together for about an hour or so. but i guess, it's already meaningful enough each of us has already make our way there to meet each other. for niro, do your best in the US later. i wish all the best from here.

so, what i did after that was watching TRANSFORMERS!!! as expected, it was awesome!!!!!! subarashii!! sugoi!!! and i'm glad i'm watching it in malaysia. i could laugh all i want. indeed, it was funny at many parts. it's so hard to just watch it without getting at least chuckles. the jokes though sometimes a bit dirty but generally it's amusing. or even a simple scene where you would find it very funny and could not stand to laugh. so, i guess people who dun lagh just dun understand it-the story. dakara, minna-san, mitainara, zehi mitekudasai.



out from the glamourous air of the klcc, i later went to petaling street. on my own.

it's been years....

umm, no change?

but thankfully i found wht i want +some other things unplanned. and also lose my just-reloaded touchngo card.



if tourist ask me what's special about petaling street, i doubt i could answer straightaway...........

感動した～～

はい、いつもどおり、試験はもう近いなぁ、それで、今回は日本語にしようか。

じゃあ、今日、いいえ、もう昨日かなぁ、うん、昨日は弁論大会だった。私は出なかったのに、すごく緊張。もちろんだよ、ルームメートのルーリアさんはもう長い時間練習ばかりで、昨日やっと本番だった。さすが、スピーチは面白いのばかりで、全員がすばらしかったけど、やっぱり、JADの学生はすごいよね。残念のことは1位はできなかった、それでも、3人とも、TOP6になったんだ。おめでとう！！！ 嬉しいことは、去年より、今年は、ちゃんとスピーチを大体理解できたんだ。すごいじゃん、1年の差だけで、こんなに日本語が上手になれる。それは、間違いない、先生に感謝しなきゃ。

それから、お祝いに、夜ちょっと出かけた。最初は7人だったのに、結局14人もいた。私たちの家のメンバーの5人と、ハニムさんとファラヘラニさんとサリナちゃんとTAたちの3人と、ほかの男の子3人もいた。すごくにぎやかだなぁ。場所はGIANT。行くときはなんか運が悪かったかな、長い時間でタクシーをずっと待っていた。良かった、みんな無事に着いた。そして、晩ご飯はCHICKEN RICE SHOPにした。とても面白かったなぁ。ケーキもあるし、ご飯はたくさんあるし、話もいっぱいしたんだ。以外に、ダニアルさんは変な食べ物の話をしたんだ。ちょっと気持ち悪いけどとても盛り上がった。

要するに、大変楽しかった。でも、TAさんはやっぱりやさしいね。何回も私たちをおごってくれて。まあ、今、何をあの人たちにできるかなぁ。しおりちゃん、コジマさん、オオザキさん、ありがとう！

残念、カメラはないから、今回写真もない。

明日、ほかの予定もあって、いつ勉強できるかなぁ。後十日です。。。。。おそろしい期末試験まで。

a race against time

sometimes i wonder, how do we exactly have dreams during sleep? and in my case, it's rarely that i could vividly remember them. but one thing for sure, i always dream i'm on my feet, running, chasing, or being chased. it's like a race. at times it can be tiring (isn't the purpose of sleep to give us rest?)

"i have all the time in the world"

i wish i could blurt that out.



but let's just face it. reality hurts.

so, as a friend of mine quoted, when you are sad, instead of crying, just laugh and smile.

but, what it you are greatly irritated?

irritated with the fact that own self is no good, not up to par, haven't really done the best it could, have only been such a pathetic low life it should have never been. irritated whilst asphyxiated with the mounting of stuff this self could not comprehend. i could blame no one else.

should i scream my lungs out?


or, should i should sleep all my problems away?



somehow, i'm afraid to close these eyelids, while my ears still grasp on the surrounding, my mind has already floated away, and the image of the ^%#&^$& robot takes form, haunting me even in my dream...

oh please, dear mr.robot, just work how you supposed to.

and, dear ms iman, do what you are supposed to do!

final exam : 11 days to go (no of papers :13)
matlab assignment due date : 7 days to go
math (linear algebra) quiz : 7 days to go
chemistry report due date : 6 days to go
completing robot last day : next tuesday?
chemistry enshuu mondai due date : 2 days to go



p/s: today i experience a class where i feel like saying, "are we learning greek or what?" thus explaining my grumpy self for the day

ato 2kagetsu kanaa...

waiting in full anticipation..............

+++

hai, korekaramo ganbarimasu~~~~~~~!!!!!!!