Sunday, April 18, 2010


sometimes i think i understand why the pieces done by painters or sculptors or poets are simply incomprehensible

are they by chance afraid of being fully exposed? yet wanting to be understood by others, but there's just some thing you don't want people to discover. they want to express themselves so people take note of them, but fear the reaction being opposite of what is expected.

something like that.

i think i'm shrouded with worries of the perception of others. is it right? or is it wrong? indeed, it can leave you miserable. no one want to be hated, thus finding ways to be liked. to know others and make them part of your life, so you could be alive.

yet, getting connected is a wholesome task.

people are complicated creatures, that's why.

i'd rather people to voice out what's in their heads, and to do that myself would be wonderful too. but, it's simply difficult. when i thought i'm being considerate of others, it seems like in the end, it's all about me. can i be more selfish than that?

and it's not like the world revolves around me, is it?

but it certainly is, in 'my' world. in that tiny world of 'mine'. i ballooned up in 'my' whole world suppressing others to the walls.

what am i? a narcissist??

a narcissist with a void in here, wishing it to be filled. and knows not how. to feel so small among the giant of others, longing for something to feel sheltered in ease. to much desires and and demands to be satiated. the eyes sunk down in insecurity. the feared darkness closing in.

and there's silence.


farah shazana said...

wah,this entry should be published in any inspirational mags or books,under the section : self-discovery.

your last two posts actually reflect the whole situation i am in right's just that you've successfully drawn the feeling into a beautiful string of words.
and that makes me wonder,
'have you in any way,been a literature writer?'seriously.

owh God,iman i miss you.
cant wait to see you and the rest of alaminians mate again.

fadhilah said...

i kinda like da second paragraph..
myb bcoz im one of them..though ak x la pandai pon part2 art ni...huhu

its just like im too afraid to open myself up to others but yet i want people to understand me..

wargh..people are complicated creatures la iman..

tp bl pikir blk,ad hikmahnye Allah cipta mnusia ni laen2..:)

we cant be like an alien just to satisfy others, but we also cant be damn selfish bcoz we are not the only living human in this earth..

*komen tpanjang spanjang ak b'blogging..hehe

snylo said...


ye betul, mmg allah nk suruh manusia explore dlm kelainan semua manusia ni...

just that, humans are weak and can't escape being helpless...

if only one can know what others are thinking. maa, words have long served as a medium for that cause. and worse come when u're at a loss for words.