my premonition eventually came to reality.
i indeed cannot hold myself from all these temptations. seems like i'm falling deeper day by day....
and school? maa, it just gets busier and i'm far from tuning myself to that. all that empty talk of getting myself working extra hard for this year.
please... i'm so scared now. scared of jeopardizing my own golden opportunity due to my own recklessness.
it's not like i'm not aware how terrible would it were i to mess the whole thing i have before me now, but i'm just plain weak. weak mind. weak soul. weak self.
i despise this kind of self.
zenbu umaku ikimasu you ni