bersusah-susah dahulu, bersusah-susah kemudian

a quote from my sensei.

it's hard to admit but that just plausibly the way life works.

once you are over a hurdle, you're only going to find more ahead.

the only joy lies when u're over one but, for the next one, it'll be tougher....

only if there's no unexpected stuff comings or it's just you who did the little mistake

that could plunge you down into despair.....


well, we humans all have our little foibles.

today, i sat for my creative objects and technical drawing paper.
i could barely answer questions on creative object, no idea what to answer anyway, okay, i already accepted that, most other people were the same too

however, when the invigilator said, "okay, now put down your pencil down", i realized this,

a whole page of 5 questions of 5 sketches worth 20 marks were not yet answered on my answer sheets. frustratingly, i saw the invigilators took my answer sheets and question booklet which actually contains all 5 sketches i made roughly beforehand.

forgetfulness seems to be my fatal weak point.

whatever it is, after all this done, there'll be more.........................

ganbatte minna!!

しまった

今日は日本語の試験だった。

予想のように、試験際ちょっと寝たんだ。ちょっとか？20分寝たんだ。

そのあと、１９０１のHotdogを食べた。ありがとう、ルーリアさん。
後ね、アイスクリームも食べた。ありがとう、アリニさん。

TBPに着いたら、ちょっと冷たい飲み物を買って、飲んだ。

それで、パソコンに行って、すぐ20世紀少年を見たんだよ！

はい、そうだ、今までまだ勉強していない、明日はまだ試験なのに。

これから、勉強？

もう始まったんだよ！

はい、今日、期末試験は始まります。第一は'Pendidikan Islam' だった。大丈夫だろう。

それで、次は日本語です～
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しかし


ぜひ、これを見たいなぁ。どうしよう？



とにかく、勉強のとき、たくさんゆずの歌を聞いた。すごくいい曲だ。

三浦春馬はとてもかっこいいなぁ、このビデオの中に:　ゆず－うまく言えない

time flies or leaps?

whatever it is, without i noticing it, or little did i notice, that now it's already mid of february.

even the TAs who were with us for 4 months (already 4 months?) had already left.

it's a bit void without them here, i mean i;m already used having them with us. i mean, they rode the same bus as us in the mornings and back from school. i asked anything i don't know though it would usually made me awkward with frequent loss of words. at times, we ate together and i won't absolutely forget the trip to genting.

so, that's it with the TA-tachi.

next ---> focus on final

so, iman, please, please, please, concentrate on your studies.....

uneasiness

don't really know why, now, i'm feeling so uneasy

i'm escaping what i'm supposed to do, got the feeling that even if i do it, i can't concentrate much

what's this uneasiness anyway?

first, i'm worried about exam, but still i can't move much. is it due to such overwhelming anxiety?

2nd, this morning, we were given simple guidance on our course selection starting next sem. before, i'm determined but now i dunno.... mou mayotteita

3rd, i feel like i did something wrong but i can't trace what is it, can't even think of anything for the moment. oh please, people, just tell it straightforward (in a kind way) for anything u find unpleasing with me. if you don't tell, i'll never know, never have the chance to at least fix the situation. well, if you conceal it within urself just because for the sake of 'jaga hati' it'll end up hurting the other party for most of the time.


hate is a negative word
so, how should i describe how i feel towards my current self? loathe? despise? resent?



btw, the TAs are returning to japan tomorrow, hope they have safe journey home. it was fun having them here

alhamdulillah

managing time? yea, i know i should attend some class on it

however, today is a bit different

i'm happy with myself now....

natsukashii, it has been so long since the last time i did serious studying/revising.....



yes, it's tiring, but i got food :P (yea, the kuih batik is so delicious)





i wish the spirit keeps up until the last day of Final.... i can't mess up this time..... i want ot proceed to next sem... i want to go to japan... i want to watch flumpool's live... (ooops)

when i think i should

it's just that now days passed with any of them being near productive, i started to think, if that's how it gonna turn out, shouldn;t i suppose to set in my mind those times are for the sole sake of idling around, throwing away all the ideas of studying or revising from my mind. they just made me miserable. if i think that way, perhaps i could enjoy it more. not like right now, i've been worrying over it for such a long time, i mean all the time, but look what i got now, nothing?

okay, enough of my regrets. it never ends. well, not up till now.




the thing here is, now i'm so over the clouds! when i'm leafing through my 'pengajian islam' textbook for its paper next week, i took most of the time hanging in front of my tempting notebook of coz. ok, my fault again, shouldn't have let it on. however, if i didn't trun it on, i won't find the thing that makes me so excited now.

repeating from the previous post, i'm now a huge fan of flumpool and it is obvious how i was looking forward to their new single and all. i'm so delighted when i could listen to it. i'm completely in love with it. but then, when their single official release has not come yet (it's on feb 25th-the sad thing is it's very unlikely for me to get my hands on it), suddenly i found their PV!! well, actually it can be found since 2 days ago on youtube but somehow i didn't. i didn't know that one's coming.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spTQBRhPUkA

so overall, i prefer their previous PV, Harukaze. 'Hoshi ni Negai wo' has pretty much same air as in 'Hana ni Nare' PV. honestly, i like it if they make the PV contain some story-like in Harukaze. in any case, this shortcoming is covered by the song itself. well, if you listen to it a few times, you can sing it by the end of your tongue. it's fast but you still like to follow it. in short, i just love it. and of course, they just look so good in the video especially Ryuuta (he's just too good looking anyhow i see him) and i love the concept they used in it. the song literally means 'make a wish upon the star' so it attracting me with the falling star and all. it just makes the whole scene more beautiful.

so, i guess this obsession won't stop any sooner... just wish it won't jeopardize my studies, i'm desperate now

undying obsession

it turned out that...

i still haven't learnt my lesson...

hahahaha

just wanna share my current obsession right now. it's lonely to have it only by myself so i thought i ought to at least spit it out somewhere.

ummm, as some people might have known, i'm so excited when there's a new single release from my fav band, flumpool. and undoubtedly, it's really a good song, and i'm loving it. really looking forward to more of their song in the future. huhuhu, really wish i could see their live performance. with that, now i have more reason to study hard so that i could fly to japan. hehehe


aside from that, despite having a big and important final exam ahead, i still had the time to waste my time jdoramas i'm addicted on. as always, i would be attracted to the ost, and recently, i'm in love with greeeen's song. i mean it's really heartwarming. this song (setsuna - theme song from 'voice') is the 2nd song i heard from them. the first one was kiseki - theme song for 'rookies'. it was only by chance that i watched it, but the song was really touching though i barely understand it. it suits the mood of the dorama perfectly. somehow, as i search for more of their songs and to my delight, all of them are really to my liking. the internet sure is useful....

by accident or coincidence, it seems like i've become their immediate fan. just one thing i wish, i could naturally understand what they are singing sooner. the current me could only enjoy the music but little on the thing they are saying.

strange enough, when i searched for the lyrics along with their meanings, for both of this group, most of their songs encompasses on love - a thing i'm oblivious about. who cares, as long as the music is delicious to my ears.

may this be the last before 'final'

exam is only a few days away.

yet, i took the advantage of early leave from school today to go for an outing to Sunway Pyramid. well, the one who led me was this adorable lad. an irresistible temptation. okay, anyway i needed to buy something at the time. oh, and i wouldn't easily forget our bus driver's kindness who actually send us until in front of the station.

the thing was actually a few stationeries and groceries. but it resulted to pretty something else. as i could actually foresee from even before, i withdrew money and i managed to finish it. talking about poor finance management. in short, we went to popular bookstore, some merchandise stalls, eating lunch and giant for the low cost groceries. today, i really felt liek some cheapskates. being a student under a budget is tough, isn't it?

the lunch : sub of the day (RM8)

after all that, and after i only have the miniscule remaining amount of money, we still went to the place we really desired to go from the start that is the place to indulge in scrumptylicious doughnuts you can find here. yeah, it was JCo though i would prefer Big Apple Doughnuts, but can;t help it, we were at Sunway.

each of us bought one for ourselves. it was really delicious!

the seat was comfy enough i did not even want to lift my big body off it. well, during our rest there, i notice a very intriguing thing. i can't stop admiring it. actually, if you see the picture upside down, you would mistake it as cups on a table. so cute!

this is just so fascinating!

so, that was how i spent my afternoon.....

however, when all things went smoothly, the only frustrating thing was we actually missed the train in front of our eyes. who wouldn't?? but then, when we get on the next train -thank god, we only waited for around 10 mins for it, i saw an interesting ad.

'mak dara'

straight translation = virgin mom. gosh, can you even wonder about that? to think scientifically, that's just rubbish. hahaha. yea, we had a good laugh then. but surprisingly, we eventually came to some possibilities that suit the phrase:

• maryam (Isa's mother)
• mom to a girl named 'dara'
• a stepmom who is still virgin

hehe... seem plausible?

remedy to lethargy : food?

thanks to yesterday, it had beaten me to exhaustion. the presentation went okay i guess despite the mounting restlessness that overwhelmed me in presenting it. it's not everyday to present something in a language so foreign to you, right? so, i;m happy now i'm over it. however, yesterday did not stop at that, we had mathematics quiz coming after that. it was .............. . don't know how to decribe it. hard/easy? more like didn't have a clue. in spite of that, i still found the time to sleep with the quiz paper staring at me. laugh all you want. after all that, i was finally on a huge relief and in sheer delight when the victor of our robocon event the other day decided to open their hamper.

just look at this huge hamper. it's worth sharing it with everyone.
so, a BIG THANKS to them. it had been so long since the last time i enjoyed eating like this. i mean eating the stuff you get from hampers with everyone else. the one liked best is probably the love letters. when i was a kid, we used to call it 'biskut rokok'. well, it does look like a very big and enormous cigarette, right? i was totally stuffed. okay, i admit it's not only because of the free food they generously gave to all of us. honestly, from that morning, i also devoured a packet of two twiggies, 2 pieces of 'kuih', a piece of chocolate steamed bun, and a burger. oh yeah, and a packet of cadbury break. oh my, seemed like a big, fat glutton. anyway, though i'm tired at the time, i'm happy


i love this particular picture of hanim munching the love letter, isn't it beautiful?
however, the exhaustion was overwhelming after all. i slept straight after i returned to my room. till the next morning, i got a lenghty and satisfying sleep of nearly 12 hours. despite that, i could feel the lethargy lurks between my muscles.... oversleep?

~embarrassed~

not in the mood to write in japanese. well, not that much people can actually understand though. on top of that, my 6th japanese language achievement test is already over. it's just some papers which had tortured me long enough to prepare for it. so for a moment, give me a break.

well, i'll practice later, in another post if i got time. for the final exam, japanese paper is on 19th of february. hahaha, to think back about it, almost all my papers are in japanese. can't help it though.

so, back to the present time. today, i'm preparing for tomorrow's math quiz. last minute study. i really mean it. didn't even bother to peek on it before, with so much to do in my hands. it's just my head who doesn't really know how to sort it out properly. even now, i also have to prepare myself for the robocon presentation tomorrow morning. i don't know how can i make myself memorize all those lines i'm suppose to say during the presentation. i'm troubled.

i always am.

by the way, today, just for a short moment of a very unexpected occurence, it made me embarrassed, truly embarrassed. this lazy bum was trying to find some rest when she wasn't even yet properly started revising. so, this pair of leg of mine entered the shop downstairs. some chilling drink might be okay i guess. well, not so much choice here so i resorted to a bottle of tamarind drink. went to the cashier and opened my wallet to pay. oops, i was short on coins. i did catch sight of my friends seconds before while both of us contemplating in front of the refrigerator. well, he might be kind enough ....

[hahaha, the battery went dead here, the rest below is resumed days later from the above one]

in short, i was expecting that friend of mine to cover for the amount i'm short of. it's a few cents anyway. however.... here's the embarassing part. someone i don't even know but allegedly a senior of mine, a boy, paid for me instead. gosh, i didn't even look at his face. felt so grateful yet so embarassed for him to see how desperate i was.

i said thank you. again and again. even though it was only 30 cents. it was so unexpected. of course i'm surprised. oh yeah, that friend of mine wasn't there after all.

until now, i don't who that is. thank you anyway. the drink was refreshing.....

またバカだ

今日は日曜日。

明日から、大忙しい一種間が始まる。

月曜日:アチブメンとテスト

火曜日:続アチブメンとテスト＆数学のクイズ（順列、組み合わせ、確率)

水曜日:ロボコンの発表

さらに、期末試験も本当に近いなあ

しかし

今のあたしは、なかなか勉強しなさそうだ。さっきも、またドラマを見た。とめられないよ。その前にも、夏目友人帳というアニメも見た。バカだね。でも、本当に面白かったよ。とにかく、ヴォイスのOSTが大好き。

またバカだ