well, at least that's what i think of my current state
sometimes i put the blame on experience coz for the very existence of it, we are afraid of things we probably should not, like how it could made us recall of unpleasant memories relating to it.
and i hate that feeling when you want it but left hesitating to take the next step.
but, like people say, experience's the best teacher.
maa ne..
in less than a month or more precisely in only 3 weeks, i'll be facing an interview that's determine my next stage of life. ok, i make it sounds like everything is on stake here, but really somehow it indeed is.
and i'm nowhere near prepared.
from my experience, interview's are not my best moment. but still, on that precarious moment, i am judged. so convenient! hahahaha, i'm purely laughing over myself here.
and from my experience, i can see the old pattern is going on a rerun. yeah, i'm addicted to watching drama again, as expected. searching for the root of the problem, it's not exactly my uncontrolled obsession, it's more of a repulsion towards my true obligation-school. oh yeah, i'm fully informed that people would say school is so delightful, a memory they would cherish forever, but see, it's only valuable when it has become memories. so, should i say keep on striving for the sake i could look back at this memories and smile?
another random stuff but never fail to keep lingering on the space of my mind : i need class on interpersonal skill. oh please, i can't live without other people but then i have no idea how to deal with them or even how to deal with myself. tch.
zenbu umaku ikimasu you ni.
and lastly, more random thing. i'm nearing the end of the second decade of my life, and i just feel like making a wishlist.
-a new watch - the one that has served me for more than 2 years just got broken
-a new wallet
-a drinking bottle -and someone promised to get me one for my birthday :D
-dove chocolates
-getting into the university of my choice
-a proper set of stationeries
-watching flumpool and weaver's concert
-a new version denshijisho
-travelling to US
+some others remain untyped
Friday, October 29, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
how should i organize?
ok, currently there's quite a few things running at my mind that are only waiting to be flowing out through the tips of my fingers. i don't know where should i start or where should i end. this is something that occurs so often i guess that explains why i rarely get to have any entry done. a muchakucha entry would be useless, won't it?
ok, we start with stuff related to words and books.
after finished with 'ahiru to kamo no coin locker' the other day, i embarked on my second challenge with isaka kotaro's work. this time it's a compilation of short stories-Children. nevertheless, when i've gone a part through it, i discover those stories are somehow related to each other. and for this book, i just found how i really enjoy reading his narration, possibly owing to the first person view that he adopts which enables the reader feels like actually participating in the story. and while still unfinished, i got attracted to another novel. this time, it's haruki murakami-the translated one. well, quite a famous name but i haven't got the chance to read his yet-aside from reading a few pages from bookstore some time before. so, when mph made a promotion of 20% off on any book for this weekend, i got myself one-The Wind-up Bird Chronicle. not surprisingly, it's the same 1st person view. perhaps most japanese authors just love this style. not for me to comment coz i've only read a few works from them. back to the novel i just bought, based on the first few pages, it proves to be interesting. this would make my desire to get his original work-as always with the excuse of improving my nihongo-grows stronger. only wish my financial state will grow as strong though.
there adds another book waiting to be read.
and actually, recently i was itching to write about how i can be so disturbed with language error-be it spelling or grammar. it's the same for english or bahasa melayu. i mean, it is understandable if it sometimes inevitably occurs due to carelessness, but then if it does happen so often in a text, it almost seems that the person who wrote it just doesn't care. i mean, supposedly they have learned for nearly a lifetime and you still don't get the sense of the correct conduct of the language? don't you feel it's quite impolite to the readers who are giving their attention. indeed, i might not be in my place to say anything coz i can't escape making errors too, but i do give my effort into reviewing what i already wrote and check for any error. that way, i can curb them down as many as i could in the future by studying the pattern where i do have mistake the most.
and also i hate it when i want to recall a word and it just would not resurface. i've been stuck with this one particular word describing what i feel like the above. urgh, just what's that word?
btw, the btn we went through during the past week was ok. i did learn something, or more correctly my opinion from before is strengthened. i couldn't say much coz "we are not to reach a conclusion before we manage to grasp the situation from every angles and aspects available". in short, for what i know at the moment is certainly not sufficient enough to allow me to have my say. it won't be fair for any persons/entities involved as i could easily overlook them. for what is true and what is wrong and what i want to believe in requires my effort to understand them in full depth. any people in the world are capable of manipulating others for their own interest, so for not being a victim, no matter how much hassle it cost us, 'to think' is indispensable. so, when i am still and silent, it's not that i do not care like a sloth, it's solely because i haven't yet gotten past the 'thinking' stage.
but then, thinking is so mendoukusai, ne?
well, that is more the case when you got more enjoyable thing to get your mind so engrossed. i can't deny the fact i've passed a bit the gate of obsession when it comes to my favourite music. as the name suggests, entertainment does entertain!
and so finally, tomorrow school starts. yosh, another one semester left to be endured!!
ok, we start with stuff related to words and books.
after finished with 'ahiru to kamo no coin locker' the other day, i embarked on my second challenge with isaka kotaro's work. this time it's a compilation of short stories-Children. nevertheless, when i've gone a part through it, i discover those stories are somehow related to each other. and for this book, i just found how i really enjoy reading his narration, possibly owing to the first person view that he adopts which enables the reader feels like actually participating in the story. and while still unfinished, i got attracted to another novel. this time, it's haruki murakami-the translated one. well, quite a famous name but i haven't got the chance to read his yet-aside from reading a few pages from bookstore some time before. so, when mph made a promotion of 20% off on any book for this weekend, i got myself one-The Wind-up Bird Chronicle. not surprisingly, it's the same 1st person view. perhaps most japanese authors just love this style. not for me to comment coz i've only read a few works from them. back to the novel i just bought, based on the first few pages, it proves to be interesting. this would make my desire to get his original work-as always with the excuse of improving my nihongo-grows stronger. only wish my financial state will grow as strong though.
there adds another book waiting to be read.
and actually, recently i was itching to write about how i can be so disturbed with language error-be it spelling or grammar. it's the same for english or bahasa melayu. i mean, it is understandable if it sometimes inevitably occurs due to carelessness, but then if it does happen so often in a text, it almost seems that the person who wrote it just doesn't care. i mean, supposedly they have learned for nearly a lifetime and you still don't get the sense of the correct conduct of the language? don't you feel it's quite impolite to the readers who are giving their attention. indeed, i might not be in my place to say anything coz i can't escape making errors too, but i do give my effort into reviewing what i already wrote and check for any error. that way, i can curb them down as many as i could in the future by studying the pattern where i do have mistake the most.
and also i hate it when i want to recall a word and it just would not resurface. i've been stuck with this one particular word describing what i feel like the above. urgh, just what's that word?
btw, the btn we went through during the past week was ok. i did learn something, or more correctly my opinion from before is strengthened. i couldn't say much coz "we are not to reach a conclusion before we manage to grasp the situation from every angles and aspects available". in short, for what i know at the moment is certainly not sufficient enough to allow me to have my say. it won't be fair for any persons/entities involved as i could easily overlook them. for what is true and what is wrong and what i want to believe in requires my effort to understand them in full depth. any people in the world are capable of manipulating others for their own interest, so for not being a victim, no matter how much hassle it cost us, 'to think' is indispensable. so, when i am still and silent, it's not that i do not care like a sloth, it's solely because i haven't yet gotten past the 'thinking' stage.
but then, thinking is so mendoukusai, ne?
well, that is more the case when you got more enjoyable thing to get your mind so engrossed. i can't deny the fact i've passed a bit the gate of obsession when it comes to my favourite music. as the name suggests, entertainment does entertain!
and so finally, tomorrow school starts. yosh, another one semester left to be endured!!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
the angst comes like a storm
plausibly the reason why i barely got to post any entry lately
it's not good to perpetuate such a bad feeling down in writing, right? as the Nac Mac Feegles in my favourite Tiffany Aching series assert, writing lasts for eternity, so its scary. or more accurately, i can't quite put what exactly my feeling is at the moment. they are ceaselessly in turbulence.
at times, i could feel like crying for no relevant reason, but at times i could be extra excited. mood swing?
so, better if i wait until everything calms down and i can think clearly so as to avoid any misunderstanding or whatever mistake i might slip.
so, is this what people call 'teenage angst'? well, i'm still in my teens for a few more months.
Flumpool and Weaver really do serve as a very delightful placebo nevertheless.
i wish i could overcome whatever worry that are haunting my relatively big head. it is just so extremely unsettling. when i thought i should go to the root of the problem, i don't even know what the problem is. am i just having anxiety unnecessarily? or do i actually yearn for somebody to just understand? poor thing i never know how to reach out. even if i send out the SOS signal, i know not what to response when help actually comes. what a troublesome self. urgh, it feels pathetic to realize how pathetic myself is.
breathe in....... breathe out............................ breathe in....... breathe out............................
it's not good to perpetuate such a bad feeling down in writing, right? as the Nac Mac Feegles in my favourite Tiffany Aching series assert, writing lasts for eternity, so its scary. or more accurately, i can't quite put what exactly my feeling is at the moment. they are ceaselessly in turbulence.
at times, i could feel like crying for no relevant reason, but at times i could be extra excited. mood swing?
so, better if i wait until everything calms down and i can think clearly so as to avoid any misunderstanding or whatever mistake i might slip.
so, is this what people call 'teenage angst'? well, i'm still in my teens for a few more months.
Flumpool and Weaver really do serve as a very delightful placebo nevertheless.
i wish i could overcome whatever worry that are haunting my relatively big head. it is just so extremely unsettling. when i thought i should go to the root of the problem, i don't even know what the problem is. am i just having anxiety unnecessarily? or do i actually yearn for somebody to just understand? poor thing i never know how to reach out. even if i send out the SOS signal, i know not what to response when help actually comes. what a troublesome self. urgh, it feels pathetic to realize how pathetic myself is.
breathe in....... breathe out............................ breathe in....... breathe out............................
may i gain inner peace for eternity, amin~
Friday, September 17, 2010
that was a nice one
Hari Raya was.... ok
well, i discovered my dad's photography tools have indeed increased where practically now we can have our own mini studio anywhere.
i'm not exaggerating.
which also means a good thing, coz i yet to take pictures asked by sensei. nevertheless, school won't start until the next 4 days. there's still time, hehehe
so, unlike what i expected, this time my dad didn't take many days off for Raya so by last Monday we were already back home. so, what my bro and i planned was to go raya by ourselves down to Johor. 3 houses cleared!
meeting relatives is a good thing once in a while. it goes without saying though. and another good thing was our journey didn't take that long, thank goodness there wasn't any heavy traffic jam. might be faster if it was my dad's Honda Accord but that's out of question. one more good thing is, travelling in a car without your parents means you can have music of your own choice. as loud as you want.
i'm so glad i didn't forget to bring my Flumpool cd on board! now, that is really money not wasted. i could play it multiple times along the journey. oh, Ryuuta, your voice is really delightful to the ears along with such great music you guys play. kimochi ha todoiteruyo!! and what a nice feeling when you get to brag about artist you love so much to someone new. and he didn't complain which means he do not hate it. yeay!
now, i'm waiting for my copy of Weaver's cd, then i can play it while cruising on the car. i bet he won't say no to this one. their music is just fabulous! even if none of what is said can be understood, music still is enjoyable for anyone, right. but i gotta say, weaver's lyrics are really nice and for someone proficient in nihongo, theirs are pretty easy to catch, and there, you'll be dazed. Kawabe(the lyric writer in Weaver), i really respect you for this. aaa, even now, i'm playing 'Kanseitou' on repeat.
and i ate too much... i'm worried for the medical check up tomorrow. going to Danga Bay again was indeed fun. never though i would ride on that bicycle again, and this altogether with a total of 6 adults!
well, i discovered my dad's photography tools have indeed increased where practically now we can have our own mini studio anywhere.
i'm not exaggerating.
which also means a good thing, coz i yet to take pictures asked by sensei. nevertheless, school won't start until the next 4 days. there's still time, hehehe
so, unlike what i expected, this time my dad didn't take many days off for Raya so by last Monday we were already back home. so, what my bro and i planned was to go raya by ourselves down to Johor. 3 houses cleared!
meeting relatives is a good thing once in a while. it goes without saying though. and another good thing was our journey didn't take that long, thank goodness there wasn't any heavy traffic jam. might be faster if it was my dad's Honda Accord but that's out of question. one more good thing is, travelling in a car without your parents means you can have music of your own choice. as loud as you want.
i'm so glad i didn't forget to bring my Flumpool cd on board! now, that is really money not wasted. i could play it multiple times along the journey. oh, Ryuuta, your voice is really delightful to the ears along with such great music you guys play. kimochi ha todoiteruyo!! and what a nice feeling when you get to brag about artist you love so much to someone new. and he didn't complain which means he do not hate it. yeay!
now, i'm waiting for my copy of Weaver's cd, then i can play it while cruising on the car. i bet he won't say no to this one. their music is just fabulous! even if none of what is said can be understood, music still is enjoyable for anyone, right. but i gotta say, weaver's lyrics are really nice and for someone proficient in nihongo, theirs are pretty easy to catch, and there, you'll be dazed. Kawabe(the lyric writer in Weaver), i really respect you for this. aaa, even now, i'm playing 'Kanseitou' on repeat.
and i ate too much... i'm worried for the medical check up tomorrow. going to Danga Bay again was indeed fun. never though i would ride on that bicycle again, and this altogether with a total of 6 adults!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
random
it's still dark out there, i'm writing this on half past 6 in the morning
yesterday, instead of getting my shower in the bathroom, i took mine under the rain
am so excited to get past half of the book i'm reading now. Has-sensei, owari made ganbarimasuyo!
my Weaver fever just ran up so high after discovering a fan community for them
oooh, kawabe, i really want to see you doing live performance in front of my eyes
and making a new friend who's solely responsible for making me so drunk on Weaver
am so so excited to wait for my copy of their album!! aah, the PV of 'Kanseitou' is ever making me more impatient~
and a current update on kazuki's translated blog really made up my morning!
i dunno know for how many times i keep playing Kimi no Todoke video, oh ryuuta, you really make me melt
i just started rereading Maou Juvenile Remix manga. quite surprised to see how fast i can read it now compared to when i bought those nearly half a year ago, yes, go iman!
currently trying to list up the goi that's apparently going to be beneficial for us who's taking JLPT lvl 1 (it's called N1 now?) thanks for those who's cooperating, i appreciate it! and i'm still open for those who's want to offer their help in this too
kinda regret for leaving flumpool fourbond at shah alam. otherwise, i could flail while reading it. haven't read the latter half yet.
just so pissed off with the internet at this house. is what my dad says true that in very near future we're using fibre optic? he says it's the yellow line i can see on the telekom wireline by the road. i want to believe it but i dunno.... please spare me from this so-infuriating-internet speed.
and wimax does not really alleviate my irritation as it only have fast speed for a few days every month before reverting back to its usual snail-pace
which explains why till now i haven't watched Hotaru no Hikari episode 9
oh Buchouu, i miss you~~~~~
facebook recently is getting annoying, what's with all the hype regarding it? and how more people are just tagging hari raya cards instead of personally sending it. even sms are better, at least there's still that personal feeling as in "to ....."
but then, facebook is my second most frequented website.
and i actually found empty hari raya cards while doing spring cleaning the other day. but then i don't know where my mom put those. zannen~
and really happy to receive one all the way from nihon. thanks a lot Aqilah-senpai!! it's beside this notebook now.
am relieved my dad doesn't seem yet to get obsessed of making ketupat for this Raya. or else i have to weave them like usual. well, i don't care if i only have to do 5 of them but when it comes to 50, iya da!!
i dunno why but the Raya mode just hasn't yet dawned on me. oh, is it tomorrow? i'm screwed, haven't packed my bag yet. thankfully we're only going back to johor until sunday.
my brother is bugging (is this the right word in this case?) me as for what we would do next one week we got free coz my dad's working. i just hope my mom won't be in the way of us enjoying this duration as we like.
on this 18th, it's open house at Farah's house, really looking forward to this, please let me go!
and so much of my friends are already leaving Malaysia. it's okay iman, only half a year left......
and oh yeah, after that, definitely i'll go watch Flumpool and Weaver!!! if only they know how they got such a huge fan out here always waiting for the day to watch them live or even to get to know them personally. they're amazing people (at least, in my eyes), that's why. also among the reasons i'm so eager learning nihongo every single day and why i thrived through everyday though engineering in japanese is just so damn tough (sorry, is that foul word?)
when i finish writing this, it's still quite dark outside. when i edited it, it's already (gosh, i forgot what's the antonym for dark!) ok, numerically, it's already 7.
yesterday, instead of getting my shower in the bathroom, i took mine under the rain
am so excited to get past half of the book i'm reading now. Has-sensei, owari made ganbarimasuyo!
my Weaver fever just ran up so high after discovering a fan community for them
oooh, kawabe, i really want to see you doing live performance in front of my eyes
and making a new friend who's solely responsible for making me so drunk on Weaver
am so so excited to wait for my copy of their album!! aah, the PV of 'Kanseitou' is ever making me more impatient~
and a current update on kazuki's translated blog really made up my morning!
i dunno know for how many times i keep playing Kimi no Todoke video, oh ryuuta, you really make me melt
i just started rereading Maou Juvenile Remix manga. quite surprised to see how fast i can read it now compared to when i bought those nearly half a year ago, yes, go iman!
currently trying to list up the goi that's apparently going to be beneficial for us who's taking JLPT lvl 1 (it's called N1 now?) thanks for those who's cooperating, i appreciate it! and i'm still open for those who's want to offer their help in this too
kinda regret for leaving flumpool fourbond at shah alam. otherwise, i could flail while reading it. haven't read the latter half yet.
just so pissed off with the internet at this house. is what my dad says true that in very near future we're using fibre optic? he says it's the yellow line i can see on the telekom wireline by the road. i want to believe it but i dunno.... please spare me from this so-infuriating-internet speed.
and wimax does not really alleviate my irritation as it only have fast speed for a few days every month before reverting back to its usual snail-pace
which explains why till now i haven't watched Hotaru no Hikari episode 9
oh Buchouu, i miss you~~~~~
facebook recently is getting annoying, what's with all the hype regarding it? and how more people are just tagging hari raya cards instead of personally sending it. even sms are better, at least there's still that personal feeling as in "to ....."
but then, facebook is my second most frequented website.
and i actually found empty hari raya cards while doing spring cleaning the other day. but then i don't know where my mom put those. zannen~
and really happy to receive one all the way from nihon. thanks a lot Aqilah-senpai!! it's beside this notebook now.
am relieved my dad doesn't seem yet to get obsessed of making ketupat for this Raya. or else i have to weave them like usual. well, i don't care if i only have to do 5 of them but when it comes to 50, iya da!!
i dunno why but the Raya mode just hasn't yet dawned on me. oh, is it tomorrow? i'm screwed, haven't packed my bag yet. thankfully we're only going back to johor until sunday.
my brother is bugging (is this the right word in this case?) me as for what we would do next one week we got free coz my dad's working. i just hope my mom won't be in the way of us enjoying this duration as we like.
on this 18th, it's open house at Farah's house, really looking forward to this, please let me go!
and so much of my friends are already leaving Malaysia. it's okay iman, only half a year left......
and oh yeah, after that, definitely i'll go watch Flumpool and Weaver!!! if only they know how they got such a huge fan out here always waiting for the day to watch them live or even to get to know them personally. they're amazing people (at least, in my eyes), that's why. also among the reasons i'm so eager learning nihongo every single day and why i thrived through everyday though engineering in japanese is just so damn tough (sorry, is that foul word?)
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
spring cleaning
is what i'm expected to do this holiday.
and as anyone knows, i'm such a person who just don't bother much with cleaning though i don't appreciate my place to be dirty, but i don't see much points in getting myself tired from arranging stuff and so on, in short to be so damn neat. people might say it's all cluttered but as long as i know where my stuffs are, that's enough. urm, can't deny i always forget where i put my belongings-forgetful me.
well, the point here is, the raya holiday has started!!
and it's 2-weeks (yeaaa, for JAD students, u perfectly know why this is such a heavenly thing). and because my dad does not take so much extra days off for this raya, i actually got about a week with nothing to do (but unfortunately only my dad is working for next week which left me and my mom at home, and ammar in this case).
so, what i already has in my head is the following:
-of coz, raya is a time to eat delicious stuffs
-visiting friends' houses that are nearby-i could ask for someone's help in this
-finishing the novel i borrowed from has-sensei (already halfway now :D)
-typing down the kotoba for 1kyuu preparation and gathering as much help to get this project take off
-start working on the math exercises given by ueno-sensei for saitama daigaku written exam
ok, i should not set my goals too much or it'll only be unaccomplished like how it often did before.
and, no matter how many times i watched flumpool's latest pv, ryuuta never fails to mesmerize me, aaahhh~
君に届けたい～～
and as anyone knows, i'm such a person who just don't bother much with cleaning though i don't appreciate my place to be dirty, but i don't see much points in getting myself tired from arranging stuff and so on, in short to be so damn neat. people might say it's all cluttered but as long as i know where my stuffs are, that's enough. urm, can't deny i always forget where i put my belongings-forgetful me.
well, the point here is, the raya holiday has started!!
and it's 2-weeks (yeaaa, for JAD students, u perfectly know why this is such a heavenly thing). and because my dad does not take so much extra days off for this raya, i actually got about a week with nothing to do (but unfortunately only my dad is working for next week which left me and my mom at home, and ammar in this case).
so, what i already has in my head is the following:
-of coz, raya is a time to eat delicious stuffs
-visiting friends' houses that are nearby-i could ask for someone's help in this
-finishing the novel i borrowed from has-sensei (already halfway now :D)
-typing down the kotoba for 1kyuu preparation and gathering as much help to get this project take off
-start working on the math exercises given by ueno-sensei for saitama daigaku written exam
-learn to cook a dish at least??
ok, i should not set my goals too much or it'll only be unaccomplished like how it often did before.
and, no matter how many times i watched flumpool's latest pv, ryuuta never fails to mesmerize me, aaahhh~
君に届けたい～～
the expression by this boy is priceless
Saturday, August 28, 2010
different clocks
for me, the 5-day-off starts today~ well, not actually i can be fully relieved, they won't leave us without any homeworks and reports, and on top of that, after the holiday's over, i would have an exam for a subject i've yet to know exactly what it is about. okay, i'm working on that.
so, for the first day of this holiday, i originally intended to have iftar with my housemates somewhere out but due to some misunderstanding in my part, i eventually ended up following my parents to my grandma's place. thanks to the ride, i get more than enough sleep. at this moment, it's 12 midnight rite now and i'm awake in front of this comp.
but somehow, despite having adequate sleep during the day, i'm actually kinda sleepy. normally it's the high time now, with all the louds and noise at the utility room with my friends, sometimes playing games together. but here, it's a 180 degree change. everything's so quiet. everyone's already asleep. even the creaking sound of the fan is somewhat deafening. unlike all the young bloods i often mingle in, clearly old folks just have a different clock. perhaps this is just how they have their leisurely pace, early night and early morning and whatever come after.
calm and serene?
well, i might just imagine how i would spend my old days, relaxed and away from the hustle and bustle of the life i'm used to now.
yeah, let this environment give a push inside myself, a revitalization and a boost to give more effort into what i'm doing now. kakougaku, please be friendly to me from now on! and oh, the idea of having to learn thermodynamics in 2 weeks after eid holiday is a bit frightening, but i'll just do my best! let eveything go smoothly, amin~~
so, for the first day of this holiday, i originally intended to have iftar with my housemates somewhere out but due to some misunderstanding in my part, i eventually ended up following my parents to my grandma's place. thanks to the ride, i get more than enough sleep. at this moment, it's 12 midnight rite now and i'm awake in front of this comp.
but somehow, despite having adequate sleep during the day, i'm actually kinda sleepy. normally it's the high time now, with all the louds and noise at the utility room with my friends, sometimes playing games together. but here, it's a 180 degree change. everything's so quiet. everyone's already asleep. even the creaking sound of the fan is somewhat deafening. unlike all the young bloods i often mingle in, clearly old folks just have a different clock. perhaps this is just how they have their leisurely pace, early night and early morning and whatever come after.
calm and serene?
well, i might just imagine how i would spend my old days, relaxed and away from the hustle and bustle of the life i'm used to now.
yeah, let this environment give a push inside myself, a revitalization and a boost to give more effort into what i'm doing now. kakougaku, please be friendly to me from now on! and oh, the idea of having to learn thermodynamics in 2 weeks after eid holiday is a bit frightening, but i'll just do my best! let eveything go smoothly, amin~~
Friday, August 27, 2010
at a loss for word
every so often i'll be stuck in a situation where i could not find what to say when actually i would really love to have a chat with someone. alas, i'll have no clue and end up in taciturnity. indeed, people say silence is wisdom but it is through words that people can reach an understanding and deepen their bonds. words are powerful enough it can translate what actually is felt deep inside and deliver it straight to the others. it's because feelings and emotions are such intangible things, they need some medium to travel.
but then, when words are that powerful, it can turn out to be fearful and dangerous. be it orally or written. when uttered by the two lips, it can be intimidating as the accompanying tone could be scary, it can reverberate in the mind, like a haunting chant. however, words that are written down just last, leaving an unfading proof making it just as frightening.
even while knowing that, it's inevitable to just blurt out something we do not really mean. only to end up feeling so bad once realizing what a mistake the tongue has done. or even what the fingers has just thoughtlessly lined down. an array of words that might just hurt someone unknowingly.
or is that really the case?
only people so selfless would think that. perhaps what do we really care about is how others perceive us after making that blunder on words. would they look down on us? would they go away? did i just make myself a fool?
nevertheless, by saying nothing, would that not make that a mistake just the same?
if only God would grant me the grand art of weaving words the right way at the right time..... amin~
but then, when words are that powerful, it can turn out to be fearful and dangerous. be it orally or written. when uttered by the two lips, it can be intimidating as the accompanying tone could be scary, it can reverberate in the mind, like a haunting chant. however, words that are written down just last, leaving an unfading proof making it just as frightening.
even while knowing that, it's inevitable to just blurt out something we do not really mean. only to end up feeling so bad once realizing what a mistake the tongue has done. or even what the fingers has just thoughtlessly lined down. an array of words that might just hurt someone unknowingly.
or is that really the case?
only people so selfless would think that. perhaps what do we really care about is how others perceive us after making that blunder on words. would they look down on us? would they go away? did i just make myself a fool?
nevertheless, by saying nothing, would that not make that a mistake just the same?
if only God would grant me the grand art of weaving words the right way at the right time..... amin~
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