.... (didn't even know i unposted this)

The last time i wrote here was about a month ago, and just like then, i'm still on a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions. And i could only laugh just like how i would when i ride the real rollercoaster.

I've been quite disappointed for quite a few things especially when it's regarding my own self. I'm questioning myself where had all the motivation gone and how to retrieve it, worried when i sense no crisis when i think i already should. I have no plan or whatsoever, and the things i'm doing at the present doesn't seem to be in good shapes, it makes my mental goes haywire. At times i took a breather, or should i say a lot of times? Well, they work as effective as placebo.

Okay, that's all for some soliloquy.

Now, i shall write by what's happening lately. I realized my english has gone worse when there's zero demand to use it here. In fact, japanese language has monopolized my language use including inside my head. I know i should do something when i start to have to translate things from japanese first in my head. As a countermeasure, i frequent the english lounge we have here a lot now. And i also took part in the lecturer's research which requires me to take ielts test, in the same time it enables me to know my current language ability. Well, the result significantly shows that i have a lot to improve. But surprisingly i did quite great in listening though i know that was certainly my weak point as i'm not exactly an auditory type of person. On another event but closely related, i was really at a loss for words when someone told me i exude good energy it made her feel good to be around, that was my first time to be told that, i don't know i should be flattered or what, i was simply astonished.

Moving on to another topic, i think i just managed to make miso soup! I'll try to make it again next time all by myself. I hope it'll turn out delicious like the one i made (supervised by my friend) the other day.



While writing this, i'm on a train heading to hachiouji as i'm having nothing to do after i forgot my reading materials at home. The heater located below the seat really makes my legs warm, in fact hot. i actually was (or still am) grouchy since the early morning, i keep listening to 2 songs in my ipod on repeat. As always, Solanin by Asian Kungfu Generation makes me calm. i also found DUGOUT by Radwimps to have a consoling effect too and made me curious with the lyrics as well. Usually Noda always amazes me with his words. I wish i have that kind of skill too, but maybe it's just because the way we think is different in the first place. Now that's something i can't really do anything about. Human minds are so wonderful just by the diverse ways it works by individuals, it makes the world so complex and colourful.

Okay i've been rambling randomly here. Now i just reached my destination, so Byebye