now, that's it

for the whole day, i managed to waste it for near nothing

should i ban myself from this comp?

i really want to be serious now.

please<--i'm begging to myself here

or else i'll be jeopardizing my life, that is if i flung for this coming exam-30 days away, not only me who would be in despair.

ok, from here on, i'm hoping to take a break from this time-consuming net using thingy

....but there's something i want to read every each day, it can improve my nihongo no?

and also, i haven't started on my PAI assignment. i need to use winword.

OKAY!

declaration of an undetermined hiatus. by no means am i allowed to waste time on my notebook at least until i'm done with the exam.

or so i hope it to be

ya allah the mighty, grant me strength, grant me power to fight with this my own bad side. please don't let those satan's ceaseless whispers sway me away from what i am supposed to do. please grant me a strong will to resist any temptations that appear before me. and also patience in enduring the difficulties and hardships in pursuing my goal. please grant me a heart that's consistent in giving out the efforts in order to reach where i want to be. only to you can i ask.

for my suffering and tormented brothers and sisters around the world, please save them. they also want to live as much as i do. they want to see this holy religion to stand up right more than anyone, that's why they fight. please bless their effort, and give them relief in this time of distress. send them help and let them retrieve what has always been rightfully theirs.bless their souls that had perished.

the tears

my friend once described me this way "iman, i think u can only cry during watching dorama. when is the other time do u actually cry?"

today, i could not stop the tears. they just flowed. oh, i did not watch dorama.

ever since i got the wake-up call following the cruel attack on gaza, my input increase from day to day. i admit now sometimes, i even turn my head whenever i saw newspaper. i can't stand to see such cruelty done to my muslim brothers and sisters, automatically those cursing words would blurt out from my mouth. who wouldn't? just where do they throw away their conscience, to even kill children and women, let alone the fighters who are only endeavouring to take back what had been confiscated forcefully from them-and this is what they call terrorist?

today, i watched a palestinian girl deliver a poem. compared to numerous pictures and article i confront(gosh, i'm lost with vocab now) before, this one really and deeply moved my heart. thanks to the english subtitle available, i could understand what she's feeling. her voice resonates in my ears, portraying such sufferings i could never imagine. before she actually cried in the middle of the poem, tears trickled down my cheek first. i studied arabic back in the past and listeningto her while catching some of it makes me my heart break even more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LZpaIKLw0Y&eurl=http://palestinkini.info/&feature=player_embedded

and after that, i read an article which made the tears continued rolling down. they actually mercilessly bombed a 4yr-old child while he is playing, blocking his parents effort to save him with bullet shoots. it does not stop there. even when the child's dead, they didn't even permit the family to retrieve the lifeless body, continued to release bullet whenever anyone dared to come close. FOR 5 DAYS in which period, they let dogs to savour the child's meat until barely are left sticking to the bone. finally, the child's brother risk their life in getting what's left of their brother and lost their lives. source :http://palestinkini.info/?p=3047

so, when i knew myself is not well-informed of the situation there, the reasons, the history and the unconcealed truth behind this conflict, i tried to find as many info i could. fortunately, when i was searching my campus' library for materials of my assignment, i came across a book revolving on the issue. "peluru lawan batu" by maszlee malik. still in the middle of reading through it and i'm glad i found it. the answers to my confusion are clearly explained here. the conflict has not just started recently, it goes way back decades ago and this is what people have to know, not to just depend on informations wrongly and falsely or just partially reported on some media hindering you to get in touch with the whole truth. in fact, i was shocked to discover someone i know giving such account that does not stand back to the complete history itself, thus believing easily on the incomplete picture of the situation. it just means that u can't wholly depend on materials in your quick reach(the media for instance-they know they have the power to influence people's belief) to understand the whole matter. if you really want to what actually happen, you have to search it by yourself, find lots of info and only then you're allowed to judge the situation.

so, please, i appeal to all of you. before you make any judgement, please thoroughly know what you are judging. don;t blindly do it as you could be unfair in doing so. i, myself is a weak person, who prefer to lead life easy but once we ignore this, by simply believing in things without researching into it, someone would suffer. yes, it's a bother to do all that, but its importance is undeniable. not just in this case, in any affair too.

wanna shop?

imported products just seem so good, aren;t they. but be careful, the quality might be good for you, but the rise in their sale might means someone else's demise....

mostly the above products are USA's but here we can get them too. i admit i just like some of them and a loyal customer but now...

n more of them you should know here: http://home.pacbell.net/halnet/Boycott%20Israeli%20Products%20Campaign.htm

it's true that we heavily depend on some of these but where's the harm in opting the others when you have the choice. instead of danone's bliss yoghurt drink, how about sunglo's lassi(malaysian product ma). instead of nestle's koko krunch, how about nasi lemak for breakfast?you might think this little thing won't deter them, but when it's done collectively, it might just lead a big change. so, opt for others as far as you could.

...gosh, just the day b4 yesterday i shopped at carrefour n spent almost 100 there. astaghfirullah. yea, we just forget sometimes...

so, the next time u shop, use the power of the consumer and choose. u can do nothing what had been done. it'll be stupid to throw away those you already possess because of this coz that would lead to waste-another sin commited. to compensate that, help others too to make their choice in purchasing stuff. ne? we might not have the chance to fight in the warzone, but we certainly can help to weaken the enemies, dun give them the money to buy the bombs!

where it supposed to be...

when the school reopened last monday after my cherished 2weeks holiday, slowly irritation built up inside me. school just makes you feel stressed, doesn't it? little by little i felt uneasy and unrest. everything just not right. so, to cool it down, i've thought of spending for leisure. i mean, by not refraining myself to get anything i want. it didn't take me long to do that. just for lunch alone, a spent as much as i usually spend for 2-3 meals altogether. hehehe.

then something resurfaced in my mind.

ever heard of the story of the conversation between RM1 note and RM100 note? here, i'll retell from my own memory and some plausible add-ons


RM100 : hi, long time no see. such a coincidence, we meet again.

RM1 : yeah, the first time we met was years ago.

RM100 : true, and from there. it's an adventure. i've gone to many places. i've travelled to numerous shopping complexes, famous restaurants, bars, cinemas and more. i've seen so many things as the exchange for me, elegant clothes, designer shoes, high tech devices and the even smell from the flashy bottle perfume still faintly stick on me. it was exciting. how about you?

RM1 : i'm happy too. every place i go, the person who receives me would smile. i've gone to plenty of beggars, cheerful children, and mostly i would be put into boxes in mosques or those for orphans and the poors. they are the best i guess, they made sure i'm not lost among the others.



get the story? it hit me hard too. to think how miniscule the portion i used from what Allah had granted me to help the others. i live so comfortable now but when it comes to donation, i spent so little from it. i'd rather enjoy it on things i like. so, now, my friends, it's never too late to change our attitudes. there's abundant of others who need the money more than us. the war victims greatly and desperately need them more than us. they're bleeding while we're idling and wasting what we took for granted here. hesitate not when you see boxes like this. you won't be at any loss. in fact, you'll enjoy from what you give later. if you don't believe me, at least, believe in Allah, our creator.

this box is part in the campaign "satu tabung satu keluarga" by Aman Palestin organization. i got it during a program on awareness towards palestine issue. when it is full, we can always return it to them and get a new one to continue for this cause. well, even if you do not have one such as this at home, you can always make one. use any empty box or can and make sure you fill it as frequent as you can, i mean, when you feel you have that extra money at hand. or even when u feel happy, insert some of what you have, so you can make others happy too, see, the happiness spreads. imagine how your contribution no matter how small-better if it's big, can make their suffering lessen even for a bit. when your donation could be used to buy medicines to treat dying fighters and their children. how you can make them happy to live for one more day-aided by your help that is.

mine at home is still so light. i wonder when it will actually be filled to a brim......

in addition, regarding palestine, i extracted this from others' blog. so, be cautious my brothers and sisters!

Fatwa Dr. Yusuf Qardhawi: ” 1 Rial (Ringgit) Untuk Produk AS, Sama Dengan Satu Peluru Untuk Tubuh Saudaramu di Palestine”
source: http://masturamohdyusuf.blogspot.com/2009/01/ya-allah-selamatkan-palestin.html

what can i do for now

Terkini : Zionis Israel guna fosforus putih yang diharamkan. - 07-Jan-2009
Haneyya : Kesal negara Arab masih merujuk kepada UN. - 07-Jan-2009
Terkini : 10 tentera rejim Zionis mati , 30 cedera di tangan Brigade Qassam. - 06-Jan-2009
Zionis-Israel Bakal Menerima Kejutan. - 06-Jan-2009

a wake up call
for us who are still in a loll
countless had perished
while we enjoy in lavish
drunk in joy and laughter
all they could do is to suffer
pelting bombs, splattering blood
staining their homeland of every part
so, why the hell am i idling here?
to get more aggravating news to my ears?
my brothers and sisters are fighting and dying
in the midst of this endless conflict, they are struggling,
ya Allah, grant them strength, grant them power
to fight every heartless soldiers that they encounter
let the victory be finally in their hands
as they have given their might to see all of these end
my prayers will always be by their side
may they retrieve what had forever been their right
the sacred land of palestine....


while wondering just what i can do here, to alleaviate even a lil bit of their pain, to at least care, i came upon these:

• http://iniceritakita.wordpress.com/2009/01/04/from-japan-to-palestine/
  
• "Bagi mereka yang sebaya dengan aku, belajar merupakan jihad utama yang dapat dilakukan bagi membuktikan kita 'kisah' dengan keadaan saudara kita di Palestin..Mungkin kita tak dapat untuk menyumbang secara langsung sekarang. Namun, kegigihan kita sebagai seorang pelajar bagi mendapatkan ilmu dapat dibayangkan sebagai suatu persediaan atau senjata rahsia untuk kita menyumbang pada masa hadapan." an excerpt from http://afiqjenoba.blogspot.com/2009/01/friendster.html
  
• http://palestinkini.info/?p=2815
  
• http://akuadalahakusentiasa.blogspot.com/2009/01/mari-kita-renungkan.html
  
• and also reminded by the 'tabung' from aman palestin which has been waiting to be filled on my dining table
  

minna, ganbarou~! put our hearts together!

astaghfirullah

shame on me, what an ignorant human i am.

i didn't even realize what in earth had happened on the other part on this world. what a cruel things have been done to my own brothers and sisters in islam. it tooks me days to get the news to be in my knowledge. again, what an ignorant human i am.

ya allah, save palestin. save the people of palestin. save my brothers and sisters.


......i just complained of how uncomfortable my bed is while those people do not even have bed to sleep on or even the chance to before they are put to sleep.

......i enjoyed listening to the music playing in my ears while those people are in fear threatened by the sound of bombs coming to their shelters